Think Like a Man, End up Without One [3]

~ livelytwist

gender

Game of Thieves

In the matter of love, men are thieves and women, treasure chests to be discovered. The thief braves thickets and thistles, his sharp eyes searching for the chest his heart desires. His ears, tuned to pick the jingle of gold coins, help decide which chests are true measures of the treasures within.

As the hunt begins, many chests rely on their bejeweled covering to attract the most skillful and dogged thief. So they stand immobile, waiting to be saved from true loneliness. These ones stick to the ancient wisdom that thieves judge a treasure chest by its cover.

But the woman who thinks like a thief waits not for the bandit of her dreams to steal her heart. She discovers his desires and then entices him, in small steps, to the place of her heart. When the thief’s eyes hit her trail of gold coins, the fires of his desire will burn bright keeping him in blind sight of the trail.

Time soon unwraps the thief in front of an open chest. Not a heap of gold he finds but a flight of gentle steps littered with more coins and precious stones. His curiosity will burn as forest fires. He will plunge in and the chest—hitherto open as a crocodile’s mouth awaiting prey—will then shut tight. The thief will keep descending unaware that his freedom and maybe loyalty to another has been stolen.

Perhaps he will find an abundance of gold, perhaps a nest of scorpions. No matter the find, the woman-thief finally would have caged the man’s heart in her chest as she had planned from the beginning.

© Samuel Okopi @ SamuelOkopi

If a woman doesn’t chase a man a little, she doesn’t love him.  ― E. W. Howe

 

Men think. Women think too much!

Let’s just get right down to the critical issue here, thinking. Men think. Women think too much, quote me on that. It’s not a bad thing until a man has had a single thought and moved on, and a woman is still having several thoughts about his single thought, long after.

Take for instance the following scenario. A young man and his girlfriend are enjoying a hearty meal and each other’s company at a fast food restaurant, when a stunning woman walks past. The man may think one of two things: what she’ll look like naked or what she’ll be like in bed. His girlfriend on the other hand may think many things including several variations of what her man was thinking about some seconds ago.

Paranoia could follow her dangerous thought process. His eyes lingered a little too long. He must like her. He said he likes women with assets and hers are bigger. Meanwhile the man has resumed munching his burger. His girlfriend on the other hand, has moved from paranoia to “casual” interrogation—“She’s very attractive isn’t she?” Wise men know this is a trap and the correct answer for peace to reign is, “I only have eyes for you, dear.” But if he loves you, why worry?

When it comes to love, less brain, more heart, or else a woman may just chase that man away. Men dislike wahala jo!

© Tonwa Anthony @ thecrazynigerian

Don’t be afraid to lose him, because if a man truly loves you, he’s not going anywhere.  ― Steve Harvey

 

A Bad Thing?

Think like a man, end up without one. The question that comes to me is: how do men think? I’m sure we all agree that pop culture doesn’t acknowledge that men even think at all. I mean, you have sayings like, all men are dogs, and memes like, in American football, the helmet was invented almost fifty years after the jock strap. So, why would a woman want to think like a man?

To expect a human being to think in terms of gender or sex is quite limiting. Once, at a friend’s place, I overheard his father telling his six sisters, “Don’t think like women. Think like human beings!” That pretty much sums my opinion on the matter.

I’m a bit uncomfortable with Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, or at least the title, because it’s misleading. Moreover, the movie didn’t portray women “thinking like men” but women pushing the bar by going the extra mile to understand their men. And I think this is what makes relationships work—understanding the person you’re with.

It’s also better to establish clearly, roles and who-does-what since gender equality is quite the hot button these days. While I have my thoughts on the matter, I strongly believe two captains cannot drive a ship. There has to be one leader. Who says it has to be the man?

So, the quote says, “Think like a man, end up without one.” And I ask, “In today’s world, how is that a bad thing?”

© Seun Odukoya @ SeunOdukoya
Seun is the award-winning author of Saving Dapo

 

Live as though life was created for you. ― Maya Angelou

 

A Thin Line

Sometimes we struggle to find the thin line between being vulnerable and gullible.  We want to be loved for who we are, but we fear the risk that comes with disrobing to be known.  This is the board upon which the proverbial game of love is played.

Because women are more emotionally open than men are (generally speaking), they tend to see inwardly, and then project onto their surroundings. The opposite is true for us. Men are simple. We connect with our surroundings visually, and then project inwardly to process it all. This disconnect causes problems when women seek to understand how men think. We may like at first sight, but we love when we see ourselves in you.

Understanding what initially attracts a man is one thing; but knowing what makes a man fall in love is totally different.  For many women, this is where the need for strategy becomes apparent.  As with any effective strategy, one must think like their opponent. But should hearts be used as pawns? I believe that the game of love should always culminate in both players being free to be themselves without fear of rejection. Herein lies the delicate balance of pursuit and protection.

Secure women who possess values epitomize sexiness and class. There is nothing wrong with “thinking” like a man, as long as you properly defend who you are as a woman.

©Brian Evans @ Wisdom’s Quill

Between what is said and not meant and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost. ― Khalil Gibran

 

 

 

 

 

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33 thoughts on “Think Like a Man, End up Without One [3]”

  2. Extremely well written, liked very much the first part how you made the story fit (which is true, had to smile all the way through the post) using analogies of thief´s and the rest.

    I actually that the phrase by that man to her daughters about “don´t think like woman think like humans beings” I have to disagree with that. It´s just impossible, our minds are just wired differently which is the good thing. And it´s an oxymoron, we are all human beings it just happens that in humanity you have women and also men. And we are very very different. That´s why we love you. By the way talk about getting hanged on each word or though…..man, my ex was an extreme of that. She would bring in an argument something that I had say months and months ago. And me like a dummy thinking what is this one talking about now. She was one step ahead of me most of the time, and she did it with malice which was worst. So out the door I went running.

    Great post and great blog, you touch on very interesting subjects and you express yourself very good. Glad you stumbled upon my crazy little blog.

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    1. “. . . it´s an oxymoron, we are all human beings it just happens that in humanity you have women and also men.” This made me smile. 🙂

      Indeed, men and women are wired differently. I didn’t fully understand what the author meant by the statement: “Don’t think like women. Think like human beings!”

      I asked, in an earlier comment, and he responded:

      Imagine this. A boy says; “I want to be a nurse. But all the nurses I know are women. It must be a woman’s job.”
      A human being thinks; “I want to be a nurse. I think it’s a very noble profession – so I’m going to study hard to be a nurse.”

      He may have been alluding to the limitations we may place on ourselves in life as well as in love, because of gender.

      Lol@ your ex. Some say women have elephant brains and keep score; she was extremely good at it. How fast did you run? XD

      Thanks for joining the conversation

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      1. I actually know a male nurse, an old buddy of mine.
        By the way you know what they say about old friends? They´re like bad tax returns. Sort of true actually in some cases.
        Anyways, point being that having been out with him and his posse of friend nurses both male and female i find it and here comes the human factor not the genre one that there are bad male nurses there are good male nurses and same goes for the ladies.

        My ex…Phew! (That´s me wiping the sweat off my forehead) that one was something else really. They say the gazelle is fast? F that, I ran out the door faster.

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  3. I’m too old to have much to offer on this topic. Back in the days of the dinosaurs….For the men, it was looks first, then a woman asking questions about things the he liked or was studying or did at work and at least seeming to listen. After looks and innate kindness, women started considering which ones were good parent material.

    Lots of water under that bridge in a 56 year marriage! Sometimes personality type has as much influence as gender, but both can be misleading stereotypes. Different strokes for different folks. For me what has mattered all the way through are the innate kindness and a sense of humor.

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    1. Lol@ back in the days of the dinosaurs 🙂

      Love transcends centuries although the the playbook and the way we express it may change, I guess.

      Congratulations on 56 years of marriage! What has mattered to you may just speak meaningfully to another. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. I found the question most pertinent to my life is, “Should hearts and minds be used as pawns?” We have to be comfortable in our own skin, or the attraction isn’t real, just an illusion. My feelings as I have grown up and made plenty of mistakes, is just that: “Be yourself, whoever you are meant to be.”

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    1. “Be yourself, whoever you are meant to be.” Great advice, especially if you have figured it out . . . I like how you say, ” . . . as I have grown up and made plenty of mistakes . . . ”

      Thanks Robin.

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  5. Pingback: The End of a Series | livelytwist

  7. I like Steve Harvey’s book but I think sexes are just wired differently and I appreciate women who actually keep it real – whatever that means to you. You could think whichever way you please, just lemme be sure you’re a lady, the world is so complicated now, I gotta even check if the boobies are original or fake.

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  8. ” I believe that the game of love should always culminate in both players being free to be themselves without fear of rejection. Herein lies the delicate balance of pursuit and protection.” My favorite statement Timi. –Curt

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  10. Seun, I found aspects of Steve Harvey’s book informative. I like to think that a catchy title is important for massive sales. He dedicates the book to all women. His hope is to empower us with a wide-open look into the minds of men. Part 3 of the book is titled, The Playbook: How to Win the Game. Telling isn’t it? 🙂

    “Don’t think like women. Think like human beings!” And my question is, “How do human beings think?”

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    1. Good question.

      Let me put it to you this way.

      Imagine this. A boy says; “I want to be a nurse. But all the nurses I know are women. It must be a woman’s job.”

      A human being thinks; “I want to be a nurse. I think it’s a very noble profession – so I’m going to study hard to be a nurse.”

      I hope the example isn’t confusing – and I hope I answered your question clearly.

      Thank you for having me here!

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  12. Tonwa, interesting angle. I wonder if the man is doing anything to feed or reduce his girlfriend’s insecurities in general? Perhaps if he told and showed her more often, “I only have eyes for you, dear,” she would be reassured? Or have his past antics given her reason for “casual” interrogation? XD

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    1. It’s all relative Timi. Let’s focus on the men for instance: some are promiscuous, some are flirtatious and some (I beg your pardon, few) are saints. As for the women: some are naturally paranoid, some have been ‘bitten once’ and some live by the ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ amendment. Given this spectrum it’s not easy to know where exactly to point the almighty finger of blame. If a man does something the woman doesn’t like she should open up. If the woman does something the man doesn’t like he should open up too. The sooner they ‘disrobe’ the sooner they’ll be giving their relationship the fair chance it needs to develop. Only then would they discover if they’re loving or tolerating each other.

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      1. “The sooner they ‘disrobe’ the sooner they’ll be giving their relationship the fair chance it needs to develop. Only then would they discover if they’re loving or tolerating each other.”

        I hear you. Disrobing can be dangerous; it give your ‘opponent’ competitive advantage. But this isn’t a game right? When it comes to love, less brain, more heart . . . 🙂

        Jollof, as always, I’m loyal! XD

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  13. Samuel, the Game of Thieves is an intriguing tale. What inspired you to take me to Pirates of the Caribbean? 🙂
    Btw, which is better- to rely on the bejeweled covering or to become a woman-thief?

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    1. Well, I think it’s a combination of both. Both sexes should do well to make themselves appealing to the opposite sex. At the same time, at least in certain instances, the woman can devise rather subtle ways to bring about the desired connection with the “bandit of her dreams.” 🙂

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  14. Hi Brian, the longing to be known and the fear of disrobing resonates with me. But life, love, involves risks . . .

    “. . . but we love when we see ourselves in you.” Hmmm do you mean a woman has to become like a man for the man to see himself in her? I guess not, but . . .

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    1. Hi Timi,
      I can definitely see how that statement could be perceived as such. However, at the time I was writing it, I was experiencing a different train of thought. In order for true intimacy to exist and develop, oneness and uniqueness must coexist. I guess a better way of putting it is, men fall in love when we see our future selves in a woman. One of the defining moments of a man’s maturation process, is when he realizes that he has reached his zenith as a single entity, or in other words “alone.” At that point he starts searching for true intimacy; the experience of being with someone who speaks to not just who he is, but who he will become. When God created Eve, Adam immediately saw himself in her and declared…”this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…” Eve was like a mirror, reflecting not only who Adam had been, but what the entire human race would be . They complemented each other. This is true intimacy. I guess this is what I was trying to say…or something like that.
      BE

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      1. ” . . . being with someone who speaks to not just who he is, but who he will become.”
        Very interesting Brian. I guess both men and women who desire long-term commitment, evaluate the future today.

        Lol@ …or something like that 🙂

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