So here’s the deal. I upload my 600-word article on my WordPress dashboard, use the proofreader to make last-minute corrections, and then publish. Fifty seconds later, my phone beeps; so-and-so liked your post. I’m a slow reader, but even if you’re a pro at speed-reading, you could not have read my blog post that fast. Haba!
The ‘numbers’ game, no longer holds the same fascination for me as it did two years ago when I started blogging, and yet, I’m in awe of the numbers. The number of people who engage my posts by liking, commenting, sharing, or leaving a message via my contact form is one way I measure the effectiveness of what I do—entertain, inform, inspire, or provoke thought.
I cannot ignore the numbers. When someone stumbles on my blog, he may not know what to read. If the Top Posts & Pages widget on the sidebar does not woo him, the number of likes and comments may resolve his indecision. In that sense then, a fake like is better than no like.
One evening between 8:42 and 8:44, my phone throbbed with the force of too many notifications. After the climax, so-and-so had liked nearly fifty of my blog posts. I was not flattered. It is like a man telling me how intelligent I am while staring at my chest; it just doesn’t add up.
Okay, I understand that sometimes a like on WordPress is like a poke on Facebook. It’s another way to say hello or get your attention—oh boy; that was one long poke! It is an invitation to come out and play, which I honour by visiting the Liker’s blog, as time permits. It is not an indication that so-and-so has read and digested your writing. Hmmm, very well then.
But there’s a nagging ring of deceit to this thing, this game of like tag. So far, I have been unwilling to like a blog post that I did not read or appreciate, as if my like has a price tag, as if anyone would know. If quality feedback is important to a blogger, then this promiscuous liking distorts perception; it certainly feeds ego.
In a way, social media is about numbers, number of likes, comments, follows, and shares, because no one wants to have a conversation by himself. The problem with the like button on some social media sites is that the conversation with others may be illusory.
This post would have been unnecessary but for an encounter on WordPress, involving likes and follows. After reading a blog post I enjoyed, I liked it. In response, the blogger who only recently followed me informed me that a like without a corresponding follow was an insult. See me see wahala. Are we now back to high school?
Following a blogger on WordPress means that new posts from the blogger will appear in my Reader or I will receive an email notification when they publish a post. It seems dishonest to have my Reader flooded with hundreds of posts, which I will not read, but like. To me, a follow is a commitment to read your posts.
I am commitment shy. In a world awash with information, but limited time, you and I cannot read every blog post. If yours is a niche blog about DIY, for example, it would be spurious for me to follow your blog because I don’t like DIY and don’t want to get better at it.
Perhaps I will throw this textbook idealism out the window to monetize my blog or market any book I may write in future. Time will tell. First-world problems, heh?
Still, the highest compliment I could pay you isn’t necessarily to follow you, but to read and engage your writing. It is the highest compliment you could pay me too.
©Timi Yeseibo 2015
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
livelytwist 
Relatable.
Sure, reading through is the best.
I’ve never received a fan’s spurious like (the fake likes) yet. But I know how I would feel if the supposed reader only liked and did not read.
I’d feel empty, useless and despondent.
Genuine likes though, are amazing, it fills your heart with warmth. A way of appreciation.
The best solution to weed out the deceit I
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A genuine like is a wonderful compliment and feedback. It can be hard to differentiate which is which sometimes.
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I didn’t read this to the end. I just liked it because I want the link to be the highest compliment I pay you since liking is a commodity we use online.
As for the numbers game, I try to ignore it but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel an exhilarating buzz when the notifications are high. And as you rightly said, getting a genuine feedback is awesome.
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Thank you. Reading to the end is the highest compliment I would love to receive. But perhaps the post was not engaging enough or you were busy. Still, I’m happy to receive your feedback.
@numbers, yes, I understand. They matter for different reasons.
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And this is how I failed at sarcasm 101. I did read it to the end. It was more than engaging.
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Lol! I suspected sarcasm, but wasn’t sure because there wasn’t an emoticon at the end of your sentence. I therefore erred on the side of caution 🙂
Thanks for clarifying.
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Timi I was thinking the same. I know people may like because others have instead of thru reading. But there are those who may go back to you, read a lot, I find that numbers don’t matter either and feeling you reach someone as you have here, does so much more. Very well written article xx thank you
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That feeling or knowing that you reached someone is priceless. I’m thankful for readers who take a few minutes to express this.
Thank you! 🙂
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You are a very talented writer and thinker I feel honored to read your thoughts.
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Thank you.
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great post! I have experienced the same thing. I’ll post and get a like moments after. I know they didn’t read my post. it makes me feel like the time I spend on my entries is a waste. I pour my heart into my words and it all feels pointless if people are liking and not reading.
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We want people to take what we do seriously, don’t we? I think somewhere along the way we find a community that our words resonate with and that’s fulfilling. Thanks Elle.
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LOL @ ‘a fake like is better than no like.’ The Internet is a wonder. It has changed our world so profoundly. When it comes to the size of our social media communities, i think the numbers are often less about how big of an audience we have, and more about those who keep a watch on it. The reality is, no one cares how many likes our blog/facebook page has if there’s no conversation. It doesn’t matter how many people are on your email list if none of them open it. I thinks it makes sense to focus on quality engagement – conversations, likes, shares, and comments that ‘matter’ to our audience.
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“It doesn’t matter how many people are on your email list if none of them open it.”
Emeka, this is a good summary of some of what I’m trying to say. So concise, I like it.
Some care for quality engagement, others don’t. Often, after I tell people that I blog, they will ask how many followers I have. In that small window of light conversation, I cannot explain quality over quantity- people tend to evaluate by numbers….
So you’re back for the serious comment sans the “chest business” lol! XD
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Some things one hears are absolutely unbelievable. Someone said that? Wow.
I never like a post I have not read. But I perfectly understand why some will only like and not comment. Freeman captured it beautifully in his comment. If not for its tendency to be abused, the Like feature is a good tool of approval.
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Although some of these thoughts had been playing on the fringes of my mind, the blogger gave me more material to write about. XD
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What a great post Timi. I think people that like a post without actually reading it (even skimming it) just want to try and promote themselves. They like the post so that the likee would visit their blog too. Talk about selfish. Hahaha. I can’t believe that someone actually got upset with you because you didn’t follow them after liking their post. I love what you said about ‘high school’, because it really is immature behaviour. Hmmmmmm… I don’t follow everyone that follows me. I only follow people I will actually read.
🙂
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@promote themselves, it can seem selfish. They want attention they haven’t earned…
It’s true a blogger said so! Childish and churlish. And yes, immature. One doesn’t have to express everything they feel…. especially since I wasn’t spamming the blog with likes. Oh well. 🙂
Thanks Stacy!
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Hahaha, yes, they haven’t earned it…
🙂
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Ha! I know what you mean. I usually LIKE a post only after I’ve read it. But sometimes these LIKES seem meaningless, especially if they come a millisecond after you’ve posted. 🙂 I almost wish we’d get past having to LIKE things.
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I know what you mean about getting past having to LIKE things. Some disable the like feature. But it serves a good purpose despite the abuse.
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Likes are good, but I don’t take them seriously. I rather engage with comments. That tells me that someone took their time to read, think on and say something about my words.
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@comments, true. Some are comment shy, or have nothing more to add though ….
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Some are comment shy….
I read lots of awesome stuff online and rarely comment or even like. Most times, I share with close friends or just archive it for future read.
Although comments are effective, I would rather have no comments than comments for commenting sake.
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“One evening between 8:42 and 8:44, my phone throbbed with the force of too many notifications. After the climax, so-and-so had liked nearly fifty of my blog posts. I was not flattered. It is like a man telling me how intelligent I am while staring at my chest; it just doesn’t add up.”
I like that comparison.
Also the expectation of a “follow” after a like, is ridiculous.
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It was like a wail for attention …
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I like to think that the like bottom most time is the easiest way to tell the blogger you were here and lack the diction to comment especially when the topic raised is opinionated(my thoughts aloud though).
then at other times, someone has aired your mind as you read through the comment section & U felt.. .whats the need for tautology. Then at other times you are taken beyond ur imagination of such creative ingenuity and you felt.”what can I say after all these obahiagbolistic expressions”.
I think I am guilty of this liking without opinion as charged. However, you could be wrong about ur assumptions. I am a fast reader & I know I couple of lads that can actually read In between the line in a space of few minutes…….
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600 words in 50 seconds? Okay I could be wrong. But I’d like to give the person a comprehension test 🙂
I use the like button in a similar way. To me, it seems dishonest to randomly like posts I haven’t read.
Thank you Freeman.
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Turns out I’ve been insulting a lot of people in the blogosphere, if your heckler is to be reckoned with.
If you, with the effort you put into engaging various people on different blogs, can be accused like that, what becomes of people like me then?
I don’t understand the kind of entitlement that thinks a like should be backed by a follow. I’m grateful that anyone reads me at all. A like or follow is just an icing on the cake.
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Ife, his words surprised me. There could only be one result: I would never follow, read, or like another post. Why burn bridges when you can build them?
@icing on the cake, as you consistently invest in your blog, it’ll grow.
Thanks!
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Haha. I am surprised that I am surprised about the blogger telling you that a like without a follow is somewhat rude.
Different strokes for different people I guess.
I agree with your conclusion, the highest compliment (to me) still remains engaging my writing. Tempted to say likes don’t do it for me, but I don’t get that many.
Following (with email subscription) is indeed a commitment. One I don’t take lightly; time is the only luxury.
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Time is the only luxury, true.
I don’t know if people who fish for likes get paid by volume of likes. But even a high number of followers doesn’t necessarily mean a high number of views. Perhaps the stats are for show?
Thank you Toni!
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I share your perspective on this Timi. Sometimes, I get the feeling that liking a post is one way to acknowledge my dropping by. But I like to deliberately read a post, get the writer’s thoughts and where I can drop a comment and if not, like the post.
Thank you for your consistency in engaging the thoughts of writers across the blogosphere. It has been a source of encouragement for me and going through comment on your welcome page, I see it has for many others too.
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Thank you so for your kind words!
The longer I blog, the more I ask myself questions about purpose. The numbers are important, but not that important. I think you wrote about something similar but from another angle…
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Nicely said. I totally agree that the WordPress ‘like’ button is overrated and overused to seek attention. I’ve sort of stopped paying attention to it myself. If you want to get my attention drop a comment or send me an email! :). Time is truly precious so one needs to be careful how much time is spent on social media or else we’d get carried away! X
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Hi Tola, in a world of about 16 million WordPress blogs (or is it sites?), how can your voice be heard, how can you make yourself relevant? Fake likes and follows are one way to go I guess… 😉 XD
@Time is truly precious, I feel you!
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Social media is what you make of it. People randomly liking you shouldn’t bother you. Instead focus on the engagement, like you have here on this post. I have been following you for awhile and this is the first post I have read and actually liked. Do I consider that deceitful? Not at all. It is on you as the blogger to engage and attract me. Not the other way around. -OM
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Different strokes for different folks I guess. If I follow you, it is because something about your writing or you the blogger, captured my interest, and I intend to read your blog. In other words, you engaged and attracted me to follow. Why follow for follow sake?
People randomly liking my posts bothers me to an extent because it distorts feedback. Over time, I’ve discovered other indices that help me measure the effectiveness of what I do. But if it bothered me that much, I would’ve disabled likes on my posts. I see the advantages too 🙂
“Social media is what you make of it.” Well said.
Thank you Jason.
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True feednback is never just in the likes. It is ALL the data put together. That is a “true window” of your engagement. How many blogs do you visit a day and comment on if I may ask?
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I agree that true feedback isn’t just in the likes. Blogging isn’t just about the numbers for me. Sometimes it’s about that one person who can’t ‘like’ because they don’t have a WordPress account, and who is comment shy, but emails about how something I wrote inspired him.
@blog visits and comments, I don’t keep track.
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The reason I asked is you get what you put in. Engaging others will gain you that same response back. It is something to think on. It isn’t a game or a game of likes, it is just common sense. Bloggers are realistic creatures and often won’t interact unless touched first. That is what I think is being missed here.
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I see where you’re coming from and no, I haven’t missed your point. Everything you’ve mentioned, I’ve touched on in the post and in my response to some of the comments below 🙂
I beg to disagree…. in some cases it is a game of like tag. I’m smart enough to recognize it. I came to the conclusion early on, that bloggers blog for different reasons and therefore our goals may vary. Hence, I agreed with your statement that social media is what you make of it 🙂
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You are only focusing in on the “like” method of engagement. There is so much more if you truly care for responses. 🙂 Best of luck!
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Actually I’m not. Granted this post majors on ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ but it’s only one post out of many I’ve written and it’s rather tongue-in-cheek 😉
Thank you Jason.
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As Bill Clinton once said, I feel your pain. I was sure to wait until I had a reply in mind before I “liked.” I know what you mean about the numbers game. I agree with your statement, “the highest compliment I could pay you isn’t necessarily to follow you, but to read and engage your writing. It is the highest compliment you could pay me too.” I always try to follow this dictum especially in the case of such an erudite, classy, and entertaining blog such as the one you run up in heah! 🙂 It’s all good Timi! Love your blog and I think you are one terrific writer. I always stay tuned. Sometimes I “like” just so you notice that I noticed. Then I am sure to circle back to read what you wrote. Wouldn’t want to miss a single syllable!
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Aw, thank you Benn. I never doubt your like! 🙂
Your support makes writing this stuff worthwhile.
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My first mistake was to read this in church. Oh my! The giggles and tears that followed were hard to explain AND embarrassing too considering I was supposed to be listening to the preacher. So thanks Timi for getting me in trouble. lol
Anyway being the laziest casual ‘blogger’ that I am (and I use the term ‘blogger’ VERY LIGHTLY); I found a lot to be thankful for that I am as lazy as I have been. Because who wants the wahala of looking to see who liked or didn’t like. Or getting unnecessarily puffed up at how many followers I have or don’t. I checked out of Facebook and Twitter and Google+ for those same reasons.
Your comment about the guy who thinks its an insult to like and not follow back reminds me of the people who make a comment and end it with ‘pfb’ or ‘pkfb’ Took me a while to figure out what that meant in this world of abbreviations and ridiculous acronyms. PLEASE FOLLOW BACK OR PLEASE KINDLY FOLLOW BACK
Really? Seriously? LOL
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Lol @ pfb or pkfb XD The world of social media… truly no one wants to have a conversation by himself. In the digital age attention is currency!
Seriously though, I did a post once soliciting followers. I think it was thoughtful and self-deprecating. I have a small but steady band of followers. Perhaps because I have been willing to put myself out there and slave over my writing- writing what I enjoy, but always asking, “What value does this add to the reader?”
Others haven’t enjoyed this ‘small’ success and maybe they think pfb or pkfb is an effective strategy.
So glad I made you laugh. A merry heart is good medicine! 🙂
Elaine, two years ago, you encouraged my foray into blogging. I can’t thank you enough. I’ve enjoyed the journey.
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I’ve been giggling since Sunday, then tried to post a comment and was promptly removed 😀 Did you do something ni?
Interesting topic, Timi. I wonder about the follows and super fast-flash like-likes hmmm Super readers? na wa o. But i read fast o so if you get a like some 2mins before logging off wordpress…
Meanwhile can someone like every post you’ve made on other blogs? I think i may have a WP stalker 😮 The line about staring at the chest looool!
Abeg i feel like am talking gibberish jare. Great and thoughtfully light-hearted post….me like this you very much *kiss kiss* #PlentyHomo 😀
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Uju, thou troubler of Israel! U don go fin trouble o! XD
Lol, no, I don’t moderate comments …. yet ….
2 minutes to read my blog post might work… 300 wpm.
All the best with your stalker XD
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hohoho I laugh in Swahili. I’ll try not to handle your pseudo guest 😛
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I now appreciate bloggers who don’t follow me back just because I’ve followed them or haven’t liked any of my posts whereas I’ve liked theirs. I’ve certainly learnt a lot from this post and the comments. Thanks for your insight.
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Hi Unathi, I guess if part of blogging is about making meaningful connections and measuring whether our writing resonates, then it’s handy to remove the fluff as it were 🙂
I sent you an email. Did you receive it?
Thanks!
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Oops, I’ll check my e-mail account shortly 🙂
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“It is like a man telling me how intelligent I am while staring at my chest; it just doesn’t add up.” True that lols. Good post Timi. Personally I never like a post I’ve not read. Liking the post is my way of telling the writer I totally enjoyed this. I may or may not leave a comment so liking is saying , I stopped by , I read this, I couldn’t leave a comment but want you to know this piece is great. As for following, I love to read, but to save time I limit it to certain subjects , so if a blogger who blogs solely about Cars for instance follows my blog, unlike before when I automatically follow bloggers who followed me out of courtesy, I won’t follow back. I only want blogs I consistently read or I’m likely to read on my reader. As for expecting a follow must follow a like or comment, oginni? It ain’t personal as diahannreyes wrote in her comment, definitely not something to start an internet war over.
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“Liking the post is my way of telling the writer I totally enjoyed this.”
Aw, that’s nice, and that’s how I interpreted likes…. until I started getting the indiscriminate ones 😦
No, it ain’t personal. No need to fight. 🙂
Thanks!
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You are welcome Timi, have a productive week 🙂
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Nice post Timi…
I can imagine the number of new ‘fake follows’ on your blog now courtesy this new post… hope you’ll share the stats with us…
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Lol, None so far 🙂
I did wonder about the reaction to this post…. perhaps it would not be ‘liked.’ I have been pleasantly surprised…
Thank you Precious!
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This is great, you write in an extremely amazing way. Was wondering if you have considered being an author. I am new to this blogging world and everyday I try to look for people who talk relevance and I think I like the way you go about your topics and yea you are good.
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Thank you Uju. Some days, I dream about . . . writing a book! 🙂
You’re on blogger? I’ll hop over and check out what you’re up to. Welcome to blogging!
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This is SO timely and what’s been on my mind of late. What are the rules of engagement for blogging? Like you, I am seriously turned off by those who “like” a handful of posts and then run away hoping you return the favor???
When I see that a blogger has an insane amt of “likes” I have to admit, my first thought is they are playing the game and I turn away. Of course, not everyone is like this, but a lot of them are – judging by content.
If I “like” a post, I’ve read it. If I feel it is sharable and valuable, I tweet it. If the post lends itself to conversation, I’ll leave a comment. If someone visits my blog, I’m usually curious enough to visit theirs…and there we see what kind of blogger I’m dealing with.
I’m thinking bloggers with integrity need to announce that they live by a set of rules or something because I feel like there is alot of BS running amok and it’s confusing and discouraging.
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Hi Lani, I think one of the issues is that we all come to the table with different motivations and expectations.
“I’m thinking bloggers with integrity need to announce that they live by a set of rules ….” Maybe this is one way to go. In a comment below, I mentioned that I saw something to this effect prominently displayed on a blog:
“I don’t auto-follow. However if you engage with our community regularly, I may consider following you.”
What do you think about that?
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Good idea. I need to come up with my own creed. Thanks!
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LOL. Whether you intended to or not, “that was one long poke” brought all kinds of effective subtext, and the intended meaning, to it that made me giggle. I used to feel like I had to go look at anyone who liked on my blog but I also began to realize that sometimes with the “fake” likes-there is no intent to engage now or ever again. After awhile, one also begins to understand- as you obviously do-that when someone doesn’t follow back or engage after a comment on their blog it ain’t personal. I have a lot of books I’d love to read but don’t have time for. When I first started blogging, it was easier to get into a lot of blogs and now that I do follow those, I have less space to take on new ones out of quid pro quo courtesy unless a writer really grabs me in or we make a connection.
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Lol@ one loooong poke XD
Yes, “it ain’t personal” There are some blogs I admire and follow. The bloggers don’t follow back. I wish they would, but my content probably doesn’t interest them. 😦
Life goes on. As an aside,
“Thou shalt not unfollow someone, merely because they stopped following you.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Thanks Diahann!
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Lol MM sounds very wise!
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When I hit “like” it is generally because I genuinely like what the write has to say but I don’t necessarily have a comment or witty comeback. Sometimes I come back later after I have thought about the piece and then make a comment. I want my comments to be thoughtful and not gratuitous.
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I agree. Just because someone takes the time to like doesn’t mean they have to comment. And plenty of “just likes” are genuine acknowledgements of appreciation and something to feel thankful for and receive!
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To like or not to like, that is the question. Here’s my opinion, Timi: what harm does it do? Of course, I would prefer a comment, and a thoughtful comment even more. I enjoy (I would almost use cherish) the friendships I have made through blogging and all of these Internet friends have come through communicating on a meaningful level.
I have never mined for followers. I let my followers grow organically, and that means slowly. Also, I won’t follow someone unless I find what they say interesting. If someone comments, I always comment back. If they hit the like button, I try to go and look at his or her site. If it appeals, I’ll leave a comment. And see where it goes.
As for staring at chests… 🙂 –Curt
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@harm, I guess it distorts perception and feedback.
So, live and let live eh? As you say, a thoughtful comment is very welcome. But what is ‘real’ online? Is the comment real? Someone once wondered if the photo on my gravatar is really me . . . . 🙂
Unlike you, I wrote a post asking for followers!
https://livelytwist.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/wordpress-103-recruiting-followers/
Curt, it was liking and commenting that connected us on WordPress. This poking business, when done meaningfully, isn’t all bad XD
As for staring at chests . . . . may eyes travel up to the face!
Thank you Curt.
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I agree. ..sadly I have a lot of blogs I read. So some get skimmed instead of actually read. If the blog subject catches my interest like this one did, then usually I comment. The like for me is my way of letting the blogger know I’m still interested in their wire, but really I didn’t read the whole post. It’s hard to keep up sometimes.
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Thank you for your honesty. Your clarity broadens the conversation.
@ sadly I have a lot of blogs I read, boy, I do understand. There are times when I feel overwhelmed from catching up or rather trying to catch up on other blogs, because of limited time. This has meant that I’m not expanding my reach as much and as quickly as I would like. But I decided that something has to give, and it wasn’t going to be my sanity! XD
Do you think the blogger realizes what you’re communicating with your like?
As I rub minds with others in the comment section, I’m learning that a ‘like’ could mean anything from, “hi, nice to meet you” to “see you around” and everything in between!
I’m glad this blog subject caught your interest 🙂
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I would like to think that they understand what my like is all about. However, each person’s perspective is unique, so they will interpret it how they want. 🙂
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Well said. 🙂
Thank you again Jennifer.
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This is a great post which leads for a powerful dialogue and conversation…Bravo!!
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Thanks Mihrank. The dialogue is just as interesting or even more interesting than the post in my view. 🙂
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Nancy Hatch sent me here after an exchange of comments with another blogger on this topic. I’m glad she did. You have it in a nutshell.
The character who expects a ‘follow’ to follow a ‘like’ is, like, unlikeable if you follow!
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Glad to have you here. Thanks Nancy!
Well the blogger made his expectations clear 🙂
Once I saw something to this effect on the sidebar of a blog:
“I don’t auto-follow. However if you engage with our community regularly, I may consider following you.”
One wonders what went down that caused this blogger to display this statement prominently on his blog XD
Please would you care to share your discussion on this topic? Or maybe a link where I can read the post? I’m curious now . . .
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Here’s the post, Timi. It was CC Champagne’s comment that caused me to share your link:
I had a spike of 62 views in an hour the other day (WordPress tells me my average is about 2 views/hour)… Five views on six different posts (or something like that) in that one hour, but no comments, no likes, no nothing… Made me wonder what on earth I was doing wrong and why they read me if they didn’t like me!
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Thanks Nancy. Could they have stumbled on her blog via search engines? You need a WordPress account to like a post don’t you? A comment can go a long way ….
I harassed my non-commenters here:
https://livelytwist.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/any-comments-no-i-think-ill-pass/
🙂
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I think she was talking about views in her stats, not likes. So it could have been anybody swinging by.
You did a nice job with that post, Timi.
I have more followers than visitors and more visitors than comments. That’s OK. People who comment tend to be people who enjoy expressing themselves via the written word. I have lots of friends, family members, and followers who enjoy reading my posts without ever weighing in. But they’re glad I give them something to “chew” on.
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lol…man united had a good outing today so I am easy… now sidestepping the gist of the post…. still thinking why ladies don’t give guys the benefit of doubt in the described instance of “telling me how intelligent I am while staring at my chest” …. what if the guy is so shy and the seemingly chest stares is a moment in time as he progressively encourages himself to go from staring at his feet/your feet/the ground to making his way to your face!! … … 🙂
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Shy guy s.t.a.r.i.n.g. at my chest ….. hmmm ……
Stare:
verb / gerund or present participle: staring
look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one’s eyes wide open.
Okay, let him keep shying and staring XD
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lol.. acknowledged.. notes taken on the def of stare and its context.
more notes taken on what I now term my fodder for the commute time this week.
1. do shy guys keep their eyes squeezed shut during interactions ?
2. if answer to above is “No”, then do they adopt “darting eyes” or “permanent fixture type” looking modes since obviously those eyes have to be “resting” somewhere if they are open
3. if we all agree that we expect “open eyes”(not wide open) but detest staring(fixed/vacant eyes wide open gazing), do we issue a memo that encourages quick/fleeting looks (but captured views – just in case a need to describe the person to the police arises… never can tell)
4. Do we also qualify that(memo) to allow for “staring” at the face just to ensure that not making eye contact is not deemed as issues with confidence…
what was this post about again …. ? 🙂
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Lol! Emeka, you get off easy since your favourite team won.
Generally when talking to people you look at their face….
This post is about social media. Since we typically don’t have face-to-face communication in the digital world, shy guys can rest easy. XD
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Absolutely! I like your ethics and your standards on this, Timi.
In sometimes subtle but significant ways, we must conduct our online transactions with the same courtesy and dignity with which we try to conduct ourselves in our real lives. (I hate that referring to real life these days seems to necessitate the inclusion of quotation marks, but there it is. You know what I mean.)
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Hi Rebecca, you sum it brilliantly:
“we must conduct our online transactions with the same courtesy and dignity with which we try to conduct ourselves in our real lives.”
When Erik Qualman said the following, he probably meant it in a different context, but I guess we can apply it here:
“Social Media isn’t a fad, it’s a fundamental shift in the way we communicate.”
“We don’t have a choice on whether we DO social media, the question is how well we DO it.”
@real life, it is increasingly digital, isn’t it? The lines are blurring ……… 🙂
Thank you.
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I am sometimes feeling like you expressed. Supposedly I have a huge following (in my mind) and of those numbers, I get only 20-30 comments and about that amount of likes. Sometimes, I will hear from my friends, I need photos. I liked wordpress since I wished to share my thoughts and words. I appreciated Mark Bialsczak for offering to take my phone photos and put them on his blog, but was dismayed in Nov. 2014 how few of those big numbers went to see my family and my artwork on this post. So, I am like you, wishing to make sense and not really worrying about numbers, either. Take care, Timi. I liked your thoughts.
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You buttress my point Robin. What is the real value of a follow or like? I guess it means different things to people.
At the end of the day, our blog posts resonate with some people and they share their thoughts with us. For this I’m grateful.
I found this quote on the internet. I think it fits here:
Your worth isn’t measured in likes, comments, notes or followers; but in your ability to love, keep comments to yourself, take note & lead. – @dulceruby thegoodvibe.co
Thanks Robin.
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I was going to add, looking back at your comment today. Thank you for being a good responder, when you feel like the post meant something. Also, adding that I push like, sometimes right away, so I don’t forget! Smiles, Robin
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@”… I push like, sometimes right away, so I don’t forget!” Another use of the ‘like’ button. It’s quite versatile isn’t it?
Thanks Robin. 🙂
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This is so true and and so annoying. I disabled the like feature on my posts because of that.
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Aw, seems a bit extreme to me, but I totally understand.
Sometimes we enjoy a blog post, but don’t have anything to add (I try to avoid ‘great post’). At such times, a like feature comes in handy.
Thanks Ojima!
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I would never like a post without reading it, Timi. If I take the time to read it, I’m always going to comment.
I’m not one who follows bloggers, just so they’ll follow me. I’ve met some wonderful people during the two and a half years that I’ve been blogging…that’s what’s important to me, not the numbers.
Enjoy your Sunday!
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I enjoy the engagement blogging affords. The true likes mean a lot to me. I appreciate your stance Jill. It clearly defines how you do blogging.
The ‘abuse’ of the ‘like’ and ‘follow’ features was inevitable, sort of like shortcuts to ‘success’ …
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Lol- No be small thing @ ” see me see wahala” . I like most of your articles and comment when I’m moved. Keep it going👍
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Abi I be zombie? XD
Alexandra, no wahala, “we go block.” Thanks for your support!
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Wonderful observations, Timi. Blogging is more than a numbers game to me. I am interested in quality interactions, not sheer quantity of visitors.
One night, someone who hadn’t visited for a while commented on 20+ posts in no time at all ~ as if engaged in a race to some imaginary Finish Line.
I wondered about the point of their blitzkrieg.
Did they think I would find it flattering?
When I started blogging there was no LIKE button on WordPress. When it first appeared, I liked that visitors could LIKE a post without having to add to the discussion thread if they had nothing much to say. But then I saw how “Waldo Was Here” visitors overused the LIKE button, perhaps as a short hand way to get me to visit their blogs?
And I soon tired of receiving notifications of LIKES since they require no response. At that point, I disabled the “E-mail me whenever someone . . . likes one of my posts” button.
Aah . . . that’s better!
I don’t believe that liking a specific post or commenting on an engaging article requires me to follow the blog in question ~> and if the blogger in question views my “failure” to follow as an insult, that substantiates my decision NOT to follow them . . . since they are not heading in the “right” direction.
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@as if engaged in a race to some imaginary Finish Line & “Waldo Was Here” visitors XD
My sides ache from laughing! XD
I enjoy reading your insights because you’ve been at this longer than I have, and your wealth of experience broadens the conversation.
I agree @I liked that visitors could LIKE a post without having to add to the discussion thread if they had nothing much to say.
But they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions …..
I didn’t follow the blogger, and I didn’t ‘like’ any more posts on the blog. Pity though as I enjoyed a couple of others and wanted to leave a comment. Perhaps the blogger was suffering from acute like-o-phobia; a condition that leaves one jaded after a ‘merry-go-round’ of likes. Major symptoms include ‘biting’ those who don’t ‘follow’ 😈
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What’s with this fake blog like (notice I didn’t say Love). I’ve noticed the same practice. I don’t know you that well. No need to impress me.
Great relevant post.
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Lol! XD
I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that we’re all blogging for different reasons. And for some it really is about the numbers, hence the ‘like’ tag.
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Sigh.
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Brilliantly said. I am with you entirely. If I press like and don’t comment, it is merely because I do like it but have nothing more relevant to say. If someone is reporting a bad experience I sometimes comment without liking – because I don’t like what they have experienced – then I usually say so.
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Social media is changing the way we relate. As an aside, I saw this on Facebook:
Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don’t.
The rules of engagement are still being written and rewritten. Thumbs up for sticking with your values and maintaining your sense of integrity.
@bad experience, I understand your sentiments. I wrote about how reluctant I was about ‘liking’ a photo announcing someone’s death and how RIP seemed a bit insensitive- why not spell it out, Rest in Peace? But with our attention span at 7 seconds (from the latest Erik Qualman socialnomics video), we’re all going to have to rethink some stuff….
Attention is currency in the digital age… ‘likes’ are one way to get them. 🙂
Thanks Derrick!
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I am with you on pressing like only if I do not have a comment. I also do not like a story about a bad experience. That seems inappropriate but unfortunately you see that a lot on blogs and other social media. It makes you wonder if the person has really read and understood the post.
Timi – this is one good post.
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Social media is changing the way we communicate. I’m beginning to see that a ‘like’ in cases like these can be interpreted as a show of support …. language is evolving too ….. These days I find myself being swept in ….
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Makes perfect sense to me.
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There you go, another like!
I feel guilty and pressured by the number of notifications I still receive in my email despite my winding down on blogging activity.
The logic is if I had followed your blog so as to keep track with you becos you read my blog religiously too… What’s in it for me now that I write no more? Selfish? Well, that’s the way things go.
Nevertheless, I enjoy some blogs sincerely, without no strings attached… Goes without saying, yours and a couple of others.
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Yay, another like! XD
Ah, I know about the ‘pressure.’ So many motivations for liking and following. I guess if you plan to make a comeback, it might be useful to keep up so you don’t start from ground zero ….. But if it’s too much trouble, then forget it. Life is too short. Reading should be pleasurable.
Charles, thank you for liking my blog, no strings attached 🙂
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This post had me laughing out loud, I get some very strange likes on my posts immediately I upload them from very strange names, I think some of them are spam likes.
Personally, I’ve seen several great posts on various blogs and haven’t dropped a comment because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind or was too busy. Blogging isn’t that serious, a blogging chill pill should be available sef.
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Adaeze, I’m glad it made you laugh. Where the blogging chill pill at? Maybe I should take a couple! XD
Leaving a thoughtful comment takes presence of mind. I lovingly ‘blasted’ my non-commenters in another post. Check it out if you want to laugh some more . . .
https://livelytwist.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/any-comments-no-i-think-ill-pass/
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Reblogged this on Ms Toy Whisperer and commented:
I also like it when I read the first entry in my refreshed Reader and it already has 117 likes by the time I read the 50 word post!
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Thanks for the reblog.
It’s easy to believe 117 people read the post and liked it, because it only has 50 words! 🙂
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I know very well that there are a substantial number of people who hit like on my posts only after I hit like on theirs. Meh. I don’t let it get to me. If I like their post I still hit like. I have been accused of not reading posts because of the insisting that I could not possibly read something that fast. Two things to say about that. First, with practice you can actually be very, very fast (I read records and such all day long as part of my job). Second, depending on your phone and the app version you are you using there is a quirk where you think you are liking something at the bottom of your reader but the app is in the process up reloading and that “like” I hit ended up registering on a newly posted post. I feel awful unliking something after I hit it. So I just move on.
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Thanks for sharing. Your observation has me thinking. I mean what is the proper ‘like’ etiquette in a world where bloggers have different motivations and values?
In writing this post, I did some reading about speed-reading. Granted I didn’t read all the material out there, but I couldn’t find a technique(s) that guaranteed 600 wpm. I am a slow reader, hence my bias, I guess.
Still, liking nearly 50 posts in two minutes …. I wondered if there was a lag and my notifications were just coming in at the same time …. But after some investigation, I concluded it was a cry for attention.
Aw@ unliking, I understand. I don’t like unfollowing either, which is why I’m slow to commit.
@Meh. I don’t let it get to me, perhaps that’s the way to go ….
Thanks again! 🙂
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Really! I found my self thinking of this same issue last week. True, number of likes/ followers almost doesn’t count for anything if the engagement on the posts is zero. But again, as you said, no like is entirely useless.
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Yeah, in a sense, any like, whether true or false, serves a purpose 🙂
I struggle with the idea of using ‘like’ tag. I have doubts regarding whether it actually grows a blog in terms of number of views. This is because bloggers can like posts from the Reader, without even viewing the post.
Ah, it is a social media issue that goes beyond WordPress; a first-world problem 😉
Thanks Voo!
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I just ‘liked’ this post because I liked your downright honesty about the ‘ blogging world’. I follow you because your words are worth reading and worth my time! Just thought you should know and am being downright honest.
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Thank you for your kind words. You make writing this stuff worthwhile.
Like tag, as a kind of scratch my back, I scratch your back, doesn’t sit well with me ….. However, as a poke, it’s introduced me to some lovely blogs I now follow.
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It’s almost dangerous to be the first to like this post! I truly do. I am not a promiscuous liker nor am I commitment shy. I have low numbers and realize there are ways to make them higher if I invest the time but I know I have some loyal followers and that means the world to me. I’ve enjoyed each of your pieces I’ve seen ….excuse me, read…so far. I especially like the man/chest/ intelligent comment in this article…great analogy. I still don’t understand why a like would have to equate to a follow? That implies I could only like one of your entries? Whatever – clearly you struck a couple of nerves…I’ve never had a longer comment! You are relevant.
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Haha, but when you liked the post, more than 50 seconds had elapsed . . . XD
@low numbers, I know. One of my goals this year is to reach out to a wider audience, engage, make new blogging friends, and grow my blog. Time, o time, has not permitted me 😦
Loyal followers make blogging worthwhile.
@like equate follow, I thought it was so childish…. but in retrospect maybe the blogger was suffering from an acute case of like-o-phobia, which prompted the lash out at ‘innocent’ me!
I’m thrilled you’ve enjoyed each post you’ve seen XD
I’ve laughed my heart out because of your comment. But you’ve also made me reflect.
Thanks Ms Toy Whisperer!
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I know what you mean. I only follow blogs I love and will read.
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You know, some of them don’t follow or like back, and that’s okay too. I don’t stop following just because of that. Thanks Stella!
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