Licking Dry River Beds and Flying Trapeze

~ livelytwist

“What are you afraid of?” He asked.

“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head as if that would make it true.

I did not think I was afraid. I tried to explain the sense I had, which had nagged me for months, that I was on the threshold of something new. I bolstered my explanation by rambling about the diminishing passion I had for my blog; yes, yes, yes, disciplined focus had kept me going, bla, bla, bla, but . . .  Was it the move or the upheavals or the new responsibilities? What had sucked zest from me, as when the bath plug is lifted, soapsuds disappear suddenly, vooom, down the drain?

If you are like me, you ramble about events—a pause here, a recollection there, an unrelated trivia woven in the mix—walking through the maze that is your life, to make sense of your journey and to ensure you are not speeding away from the, as yet, unspecified destination.

My friends are patient listeners, facilitating my journey with subtle signals from the control tower, never attempting to pilot my plane. My conclusions can only be authentically mine, if I arrive at them by myself.

“Hmmm, so are you licking dry river beds then?”

We laughed at his allusion to the story of a prophet called Elijah. I had heard him tell it more than once.

Elijah was a prophet who once called down fire down from heaven. During a famine, ravens brought him food, and he drank water from a brook. Then one day, the brook dried up because it hadn’t rained in ages. The way my friend tells it, Elijah had a few choices. He could remain at the brook, licking up every last molecule of water from the riverbed because he had been divinely sent there. He could even attempt to command water to gush, geyser-style from the riverbed; after all, he wielded power. Or, he could open his heart to embrace something new.

My friend was asking me if I had become stuck in my comfort and safety zone.

“You know that when Elijah left the brook, he went on to provide food for not only himself but also a widow and her son. That’s greater relevance and impact,” he continued.

I nodded. “Yeah, yeah . . .”

“So what are you afraid of?”

“Em . . . Elijah knew exactly where to go next. I’m not so sure. I stop my blog, then what? Twiddle my thumbs?”

“You can never be idle, Timi.”

“True, but you see what I’m saying . . . right?”

“Have you ever watched trapeze artists?”

“Acrobats? At a circus? Sure. They’re graceful, beautiful to watch.”

“They have to leave one bar then swing in the air to catch another. So imagine this . . . a trapeze artist . . . he’s holding this bar,” my friend clenched his fist. “As long as he’s holding it, he can’t swing and catch the new one—”

“I see it!”

Now, it was his turn to nod.

I was like a trapeze artist holding one bar with one hand while reaching for another with the other hand. I looked ungainly. My balance was suspect. I was likely to fall. Trapeze artists have more faith that they will catch the new bar than faith that they will fall.

“Wait wait wait. But don’t they have a mattress or spring board underneath? Aren’t they legally required to have some security? Hmmm, let me google it . . .”

He smiled; perhaps at the way my mind works.

“But you have security Timi. You’ve always had security.”

If you fall, I’ll be there. – Floor  🙂

P.s. 1. This is what I googled instead:

P.s. 2. April marked four years of blogging at Livelytwist, a success story that has you, dear reader, by my side. Now it’s time for new adventures and to stop  blogging. I’ll be writing about this in the weeks to come.

©Timi Yeseibo 2017

Photo Credit: https://web.facebook.com/bizzarreart/photos/a.262015740857231.1073741828.262003347525137/439234606468676/?type=3&theater

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

51 thoughts on “Licking Dry River Beds and Flying Trapeze”

  2. Awww, I love love love your blog. I’m encouraged by the work and dedication you’ve put into it. And even though it makes me emotional (I’m serious), knowing that this is all coming to an end, I know it would have taken a serious consideration for you to come to this decision. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, Timi.

    Thanks for having such a large, beautiful heart

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    1. Thank you Kemi. I am also floating in a sea of emotions. And you are right, it’s taken me a long long time to come to this place.

      Thank you for sharing your heart with us here. All the best for the future. 🙂

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  3. Congratulations Timi on 4 years of absolutely brilliant content.

    Creativity is one thing but to be consistently creative is no mean feat and you have churned out great stuff Sunday after Sunday.

    You’ll do great at whatever comes next, I’m sure of it.

    Thank you for the stories and laughs and occasional tears over the years.

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  4. Wow, Timi!!! Wow!!! Congrats on 4 years of the most AH-mazing writing!!! This is A GIFT like nothing I’ve seen. I can honestly say (and this is not to flatter you) that you are one of the BEST writers in the world. Your pieces are well articulated and so well written; they are so RICH and just so palatable to the senses. I really agree that you just never slap 2 sentences together. They are always very thoughtful and well constructed. And because I write tiny pieces once in a while, I can only imagine the effort that goes into writing the superior pieces you do.

    Well, Timi, I pray God gives you clarity to discover what next… and also gives you the strength & courage to take that next LEAP. I am in that place also and reading this post, comments & video have REALLY inspired me – REALLY!!! All the very best in your next exciting adventure. PLEASE N-E-V-E-R GIVE UP WRITING, whatever you do. That is definitely what you were born to do (amongst other things, of course). THANK YOU, Timi for sharing your gift. Love you, Timi & love your work. KUDOS!!!

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    1. Patience, I am so touched by your words more than I can express here.

      When I wrote this piece I prayed it would speak to someone and I am happy to know that my prayers have been and are still being answered. I pray that you also find the courage to take your next step.

      Writing is in my blood. I rediscovered it later in life and have a better appreciation of it now. I believe there is more writing in my future.

      Thank you for your encouragement and support. They mean a lot to me.

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  5. I’ve had itchy feet for a year now. And it’s not just with writing on the blog; it’s work too.
    I’m asking myself the same question your friend did, “What am I afraid of?”
    I feel like I need security, and I’m not sure I have it.
    I watched something on YouTube a few weeks ago and this voice just says, “Jump!” Is he frigging mad? Jump. Just like that. To where? To what? I know where i want to go next, but not confident of my ability to sustain it.

    Thanks for echoing my thoughts, Timi (you do have an uncanny ability to do that. Perhaps you do have a safety net you’re not seeing :))

    I hope everything turns out well for you. For me. For everyone who needs to jump.

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    1. Hi Uju, I’m glad this post resonated with you. Fear of the unknown is natural. If we knew what exactly was behind that door, which beckons, we will not need to take a “leap of faith”.

      Regarding security, I have found that everything in this world is subject to change without warning. In a sense there is no security to be found in temporal things. I look to things of eternal value for my sense of security.

      To jump or not to jump? I pray you receive clarity concerning your decision in the days to come.

      Godspeed!

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  7. Wow. It’s four years already? Unbelievable! Big congrats for staying the course, for the beautiful, humorous and inspiring thoughts you shared here. And for giving me the opportunity to share a bit of my life on here! You are a phenomenal writer, Timi! Best wishes on the next leap!

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  8. Pingback: An Anatomy of a Farewell | livelytwist

  10. Ah, Timi, you will be missed. I will miss you. But I understand. Every day I struggle with the amount of time and energy it takes to produce a blog with 2-3 posts per week. And I see many of our fellow bloggers struggle with the same questions. Is it worth it? You are a unique voice, and I think you will be heard (need to be heard) wherever you choose to go. –Curt

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    1. Thank you Curt. I have enjoyed my blogging journey, every step of the way, and it is because of fellow travellers like you! 🙂

      You are also an inspiration to me. Not only have you kept up with your informative and entertaining posts,but you’ve also written a book, and I believe you are about or in the middle of another. One could have chucked it up to excess time after ‘retirement’, but no, you and Peggy lead an active lifestyle and you’re both on the go. Kudos!

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    1. Hi Michael, I am glad we connected even if it’s at the tail end of my blogging journey. If you have enjoyed what you found here, then I take it as another sign that blogging has been well worth the work I put into it.

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    1. Words that make sense, Benn. Thank you so much for your support; it has meant a lot to me this past few years. I will miss your insightful comments too.
      I’m going to land in a good place, and I’m glad that you will be there. 🙂

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  13. I am also in a Trapeze moment but I have decided to take that leap. I am one of those people who welcome risk, albeit calculated ones. So it’s easier for me to make decisions.

    I will miss your weekly blogs but you have to tell us where to find you next abeg. You can’t just leave us laidat naa

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  15. I am speechless. I discovered your blog some months ago and now you’re going? Can’t you blog alongside what you wanna take up? I’m sounding emotional now😥.

    Follow your heart Timi, and take the brain along too. There are times when we have to leave a place for another. It’s like climbing stairs. You might have climbed twenty steps and not want to climb the next. But before you can progress up the stairs, you have to leave the step you are on presently. So if this is you climbing and you really​ have to drop blogging, so be it. But please, don’t ever stop writing.

    Can’t wait to hear more about this giant leap. Happy new month.

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    1. Aw @ sounding emotional. I’m quite emotional about Livelytwist too; it’s my baby!
      It thrills me to know that you found something at Livelytwist that you connected with.

      Can’t you blog alongside what you wanna take up?
      To answer your question, I won’t be effective. Although my blog posts are typically around 500 words, and I publish once a week, they take up all of my spare time. I jokingly say that I don’t slap two sentences together … but it’s true.

      I won’t stop writing. I suspect that the form and stage will be different.

      Thank you so much for believing.

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  16. Timi, I know what it’s like to think about quitting. I also know the fear of the unknown. I’ve been reading your blog for a while. I had the feeling I needed to check it today. This post was so timely. I also needed to watch that video.
    You words definitely have an impact. I forwarded this post to a friend!

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    1. I am so delighted to read your comment because my hope in writing this (or anything for public consumption), is that it would resonate with another. Thanks for forwarding to a friend and for your kind comments. I’m glad you checked in today. 🙂

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  17. First of all, congratulations Aunty Timi for an outstanding 4years of blogging! And thank you for your weekly tonic, it has helped me a lot. Just when I wanna start, you wanna move on, well, I wish you cess.
    And I wish secretly that you never leave!

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    1. Aw, thank you so much. Please start, and start quickly! At the end of one’s life, it is knowing that one helped others along the way, that brings rich fulfillment.

      Your secret wish may be granted, but in another form. Stopping blogging is not the end of writing for me. 🙂

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  19. Hmm!
    Where do I even start from?

    First off, this post is very close to home as I am in a Trapeze moment. Taking the leap, unsure of where I’ll land and unaware of any security. But I’m taking the leap, if my bones break, at least I will know I defeated inertia.

    And please I don’t want to miss my Sunday afternoon tonic. I am too old to start searching for something new ( ehn, this kinda comfort zone is the good kind). So please, don’t break my ‘and our hearts’ because I will find you (I am sure many others will too ), we will become you shadow.

    PS: Congratulations. 4 fruitful years nor be beans o.

    PS 2 : of course you can try something new. I believe we should always evolve lest we become a dinosaur or Arsene Wenger.

    PS 3: For none football lovers, Arsene Wenger is the legend who transformed Arsenal FC into a great football team and is currently destroying the team he built because he is too stubborn to evolve or leave for good.

    PS 4: Thank you Timi. You’ve been a blessing to your readers.

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    1. ” … if my bones break, at least I will know I defeated inertia.” 🙂 Godspeed!
      I’m glad this post resonated with you; it is precisely what I hoped for as I wrote- that a reader or two may find points of consonance; that in some way, I may light another’s candle. Thanks for your feedback.

      My readers have also blessed me in many many ways. Any success I have enjoyed is really ‘our’ success.

      Ah, Arsene Wenger had to come into this … 🙂

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    1. Lol @ kneejerk and after-a-pause reaction 🙂

      Already people are asking me, what next, and I wish my answer was one authoritative word, not an explanation. I heard someone say, “Get comfortable not knowing.” It isn’t such a bad place to be.

      Thank you for following, reading, commenting, and encouraging through the years.

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    1. I understand about not wanting to like this. 🙂

      I believe that writing will always be in my future, how could it not be? The form and the stage may differ, but there’s usually a story or three playing in my head at any given moment.

      At this time, I’m not altogether sure what kind of writing I would be doing in future. Opportunities beckon. There’s room to explore, but it seemed like as long as I kept writing on Livelytwist, I did not have time to do anything else.

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  23. The say courage is not the absence of fear. I think being uncertain and unsure of tomorrow doesn’t stop us from waking up the next day and doing what we need to, to get things done.
    Uncertainty is a part of life it only shows we are human however we need courage to keep going on. If you could wake up everyone morning then you certainly can attempt new things.

    We sure would miss our Sunday delight blog posts but am sure the old would give way to a new you we would enjoy!

    Congratulations on 4 lovely years of blogging!

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    1. I like the analogy of waking up everyday to face an uncertain world.

      “…. but am sure the old would give way to a new you we would enjoy!” Amen to that.
      Thank you for reading and commenting faithfully. You made the 4 years worthwhile 🙂

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  24. It’s interesting how many times in the past week I’ve heard people I know say they are ready for something new, and want to quit writing on a medium. I’m included in this group, so I’m really curious to see how this story unfolds and what the new plan is : )

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