On Getting Older

I am getting older, and I do not mind. I have embraced my age. I do not want to be a tottering teenager again, watching my father scrutinize my list of provisions and wondering what his response “okay, I’ve seen it,” means.

I am pragmatic. A few years ago, I folded my wedding gown and put it in my bottom box. It seems like a small thing now, but it was not at the time. My dream of slimming down enough to wear my wedding dress after life and children, died that day—I embraced the truth about getting older and weight. I have a sister who can probably still fit into her wedding dress; she distorts my theory. Are we not sisters, from the same mother, no less? Why did she have to have all the slim genes? I digress; this is about getting older! All my highs and lows have made me the woman I am and am becoming. Yes, I embrace my age. It is the greying that I have not fully understood.

When a few years ago I asked my hairdresser for a shampoo to tackle the dandruff that caused the persistent itching in the middle of my hair, she told me that dandruff was not the culprit. “You have so much grey hair there; that’s what causes the itching.” Information overload (amebo); who asked her?

Nevertheless, when I got home, I parted my crown of glory in the middle. And there, standing tall like irokos, streaks of lightning amid my black sky. I pulled a handful, twirling them around my fingers. When and how did they get there? Thankfully, they did not march forward from their hideaway; however, their strategy to gain new territory caught me unawares. Stealthy warriors, overnight, they appeared at the hairline around my temples. Aha, my hairdresser styled my hair with side parting and we won that war. The last time I was in the salon, we struggled to decide which side to part the hair. “We will soon have to resort to centre-parting,” she said after grave contemplation.

When the first few grey strands appeared on my eyebrows, my tweezers came to the rescue. And so it was that I was plucking a strand or two from my eyebrows the Saturday before Easter, when I saw it. Grey hair had sprung up in places I did not know they would or could grow—in crevices that my mother did not tell me about! But this? Haba! How far? A grey eyelash? You’ve got to be kidding!

I moved my mirror to catch the natural light from the sun. There it was—not ashamed of standing out in the row of black and as long as its fellow lashes. Is this what it means to get older? Accepting with equanimity the things you can’t control? I went to the shops to find a solution.  I smiled when I saw jet-black mascara. Who knew that black had different shades? I am older, and I will change the things I can, one grey eyelash at a time!

shades of black

©Timi Yeseibo 2013

images ©Timi Yeseibo 2013; photography: Sam Bird & Timi Yeseibo

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

37 thoughts on “On Getting Older”

    1. I wrote this in 2013 🙂

      I read yours. There’s a time for everything. A time for fun, and a time for serious reflection. I think it was that time for you. We find our way there, in that serious place, one way or the other.

      Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Amebo hairdresser, her words sunk right in! Loved my people with our chosen words.

    Seriously, I never knew grey could hitch so much, I’ve got a few and not very fair given my sister 10 years older has far fewer than me – what to do than to accept and grow gracefully 🙂

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  4. Pingback: The Lightness of Being 55 by Jean Chong and Cycle Write Blog | livelytwist

  5. Very entertaining blog post, Timi. Yes I’ve found a few of those offending grey hairs too. My hairdresser had the wonderful idea of giving me streaks, blonde and red against my dark hair to hide those rascals. Loved it! So for now I’m appearing in streets of Cambridge in disguise.

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    1. I like your hair dresser already! The image your words -So for now I’m appearing in streets of Cambridge in disguise- evoke in my mind, is a fun one 🙂
      I pull my hair back in a bun occassionally, and then people ask, “How old are you?!” 😀

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  6. A grey eyelash. I certainly wouldn’t pluck it. well, I do have a few grey strands that I just gave up plucking. So is your age a ….secret? Mine isn’t. I celebrated my birthday this year in a blog post.

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    1. My age is a secret guarded with steel chains 🙂
      Seriously, there’s freedom and confidence that comes with being older despite the grey eyelashes. Btw, I found another one recently!
      Loved your birthday post. It was fresh, light, full of experience and certainty. And you look great!

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      1. Well, one day you’ll feel great to reveal your age. Seriously, it is earning life experience that no one can take away from you.

        I asked because, to me, you do look a lot younger than what you may be.

        Thanks for your wishes, lively. You just don’t see me up close right now. 🙂

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          1. Mine has some good genes here too. The difference is that my mother raised 6 children. I chose not to have children. 🙂 But even sisters who have children, look fine..I attribute to childhood foundational diet. (Thanks to mother.)

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  8. ooooh ageing !!! yes I embrace it but i dont like it lol – these days i look in the mirror only when getting ready in the morning – not because im vain and and cant accept im looking older but because i realise that my youthfulness and enjoyment of life and “feeling sexy” now comes from the treasure trove of my “inner self” and if i keep looking at my “outer self” I find i am machine gunned by society’s message that life belongs to the young and that i should stay home, watch telly and drink cocoa.
    if i continue to tap into my inner self then i am still excited about life and my place in it and continue to dare to have adventures and flirt a little.
    this is a great piece sweetie

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    1. I love your attitude young lady! We may not have our “hot” bodies anymore, but we are older, more confident, more at peace with ourselves, in touch with who we really are, still excited about life… now that is hot! 🙂

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  9. Hi there – Love your post on aging! But it seems to me, my dear, that you are doing it like fine wine 🙂 Yes, I too, think about this aging process, with enough reminders that won’t let me forget. A wrinkle here, sagging this, puffy that, and a gray hair …. where?! Down there!!! OMG! Thank goodness for mascara and hair dye! When time permits come and read one of my post. Hope you enjoy as much as I did yours. Here’s to life in its fullest for us “seasoned” gals 😉

    http://perezmemoir.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/faded-roses/

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    1. Lol @gray hair …. where?! Down there!!! 🙂 Indeed, a toast (and mascara, and hair dye), to life in its fullest for us “seasoned” gals. Thank you for the compliment. So glad you stopped by, I’m going over to yours now…

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  10. I did not notice that you have any problems with aging, my dear! You are lovely inside and out! I am getting older, am going to be 58 and yet, I still feel young at heart! I am sure that we will get to know each other better, through our blogs! I am looking forward when I don’t have to run into the library and post my thoughts! I will check more of your posts on Saturday! Take care and thanks for your insightful comments on my recent “Trustworthiness” post!

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  12. Dear Timi…You are so real i like you for that. greying is part of life. i know how i reacted when i spotted the first few strands. Havent seen any yet on my eyebrows.

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    1. Thank you Adaora. If you see a grey strand on your eyebrow… rephrasing (lol) when you see a grey strand on your eyebrow, I recommend this shade of black- blackest black! 🙂

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  13. Timi, this is really good! Didn’t know you were such a good & prolific writer. Will keep stopping by as your blog is so rich and interesting. Don’t have to reply all my comments. Let’s get more fresh baked goods from you. Keep this up! Thanks for using your gift.

    But girl, I hear you; even though I’m proud of my age, the way I attacked a strand of grey some time ago was as if I was in a fierce battleground.

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    1. Hello Patience, thank you! YES, I have to reply to all your comments… I want to, I love to, I like that you leave a reply 🙂 Your comment & my reply give me fresh ideas for new posts! Consider following the blog- I post updates at least once a week; that way you’re always up to date.
      Grey hair (long sigh)… I feel you 🙂 Is it too early to start dye treatments?

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  15. My dear it’s really one gray lash at a time! Life comes with its own surprises at times especially the ones we are not prepared for thank God you’ve found a way of dealing with d greys!

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