Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

As a girl, I spent time in front of the mirror, preoccupied with what I saw; my hair, my face, my body.  As a woman, I spend less time in front of the mirror. I’m mostly satisfied with what I see.  Writing this paragraph for Holistic Wayfarer made me realise there are many mirrors in my life and the important ones are in my soul. I’d like to know, when you look at the mirror, what do you see?

A Holistic Journey

Race. The colour of my skin, the flare of my nostrils, the texture of my hair, the S of my backside. I am none of these; I am all of these. Race. My mother is caramel, my father pure chocolate, and I am hazelnut. They taught me that education and excellence would open any door. I believed it; still believe it. Race. Raised in Nigeria, I live in The Netherlands. I temper the directness of the Dutch with the verbosity I think Nigerians inherited from the British. Race. When I look in the mirror, I see a girl, a woman, a lover, a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a mentor, a coach, a writer, a warrior — all I have been, all I now am, all I will one day be. When I look in the mirror, I see me. What if my father were Australian and my…

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21 thoughts on “Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

  1. Hmmm. I’ve learned in recent times that what we see in the mirror is actually what we think of ourselves. If you think you are fat you’ll see all the flabs without seeing the curves, if you think you’re ugly you’ll see all the scars without the dimples . So what you see is what you think and what you see is what others see in you in spite of how you are. When I look into the mirror I see beauty, elegance, poise, confidence and all the wonderful things I think of me . I see the imperfect yet graceful me. When I look into the mirror I see the me I’ve chosen to love . I’ve learned to choose my thoughts correctly to see what I need to see without being proud but being grateful for who I am!


    1. Interesting perspective. Could this be why some beautiful people think they are ugly? The way we think about ourselves affects the reflection we see in the mirror, because our thoughts can distort what we see.

      “When I look into the mirror I see the me I’ve chosen to love.” This is beautiful, like you!


  2. While growing up, all I saw was the body imperfection. Now, it’s really about whether my hair is combed properly or whether I need to go for a shave. The mirror has become a reflection of season and not one of creation.

    As I said on holistic wayfarer’s blog, I am always captivated by this style of writing. Three stories, three perspectives, one theme.


    1. “The mirror has become a reflection of season and not one of creation.” Love it. I may be wrong, but I see a measure of self-assuredness in your statement.
      Meanwhile, I didn’t see your comment on Holistic wayfarer’s blog- MIA?

      Samuel, I know you’re pretty busy, but since you enjoyed this collaboration, we should talk. We should do one together.


      1. A collaboration would be great, Timi. Who am I to hide under the cloak of busyness? 🙂

        I went back to her blog and tried commenting again. No luck. With the loads of comments there, maybe the mailbox is full. LOL.


  3. I don’t have a mirror in my house.

    Part of it is because of this completely ignorant opinion that men who look at themselves in mirrors suffer a huge inferiority complex – part of it is I don’t have the interest. I know what I look like. I know what to wear/what not to wear. Why mirror?

    But I constantly self-examine. I know where I was, and more importantly, where I’d like to be. Everyday is another chance to get it right – a chance I gladly take. So with the understanding that I can only get better, I take on my day.

    No mirrors in my house but I know what I look like.

    Thank you, so much.


    1. Lol@ “men who look at themselves in mirrors suffer a huge inferiority complex”

      “Everyday is another chance to get it right – a chance I gladly take.” This resonates with me.

      I know what I look like, true, but mirrors help me put on my make-up properly 😀


  4. I thoroughly enjoyed the snippets reflected through your glances in the mirror as each one of you expressed your vulnerability and trusted that we the readers would do likewise. Thank you!


  5. A very good question–literally and metaphorically. What defines us is not actually what we hope to see or have seen in the mirror because basically we are either taunted by age or some imperfection. But it’s who we have become and this is beyond a reflection. This imagery stands next to us.


  6. Now, Timi, right there is a whole new chapter to this whole thing called Self-Discovery. Nicely done. And I must say that I relate.

    Well, let me give this mirror thing a try.
    When I was still young and naive, every time I looked in the mirror and opened up my soul I saw perfection. And with that perfection came judgement of my myself and everyone else.

    Today, so many self-discovery journeys and soul searching conversations laters, I see struggle. I see a woman that measures herself not against the yardstick of everything that is perfect and right in her life but by how much she struggles to understand the imperfections of her life. Today, everyday, I choose understanding over judgement, compassion over indifference. And my, I have found greatness in this new look.

    I don’t see that big nose anymore. I actually think it is beautiful. 🙂

    Timi, thank you for this. I have been over at the Holisitc Wayfarer and the mirror images are so beautiful and sincere. Keep doing your soul thing. 🙂


    1. This got to me, ” . . .by how much she struggles to understand the imperfections of her life.” We’ve come a long way, and we’re still going further. The things you choose, makes the journey worthwhile. Thank you so much for sharing your reflection and for going over to Holistic Wayfarer.

      Big nose? Where? 🙂


  7. You guys have just touched lives..thanks for reminding us that beauty is not race but what lies deep within each of these races…our hearts,our minds and our souls.


    1. Our hearts,our minds and our souls . . . we should pay more attention to these. I feel fulfilled when something I wrote touches someone. In this case, something we wrote. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Prissy. I’m encouraged.


  8. What do I see? I have made a habit of not looking in mirrors because, when I think of myself, I think of beauty and vivacity, intelligence and grace. But, when I look in a mirror, I see how my neuromuscular disease has weakened and crumpled my body and how odd and uncomfortable I look in my wheelchair. Yet, I know that who I am is my whole self – my mind, my heart, my soul, and what I have learned along the journey on which my body has brought me. The surface can be deceiving. But my eyes, my smile, and my voice tell the truth: I’m a creature of love, therefore I am beautiful.
    Thank you for inviting us to take a deeper look at ourselves!


    1. Thanks for sharing that with us all..truly touching and encouraging. Its amazing that you can see beyond the surface and that the crookedness of life has not broken you down..God bless you and keep you strong beautiful Christina..for i see your beauty in the most important mirror of all…your soul


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