The Volume of Happiness

Nigerians are the happiest people in the world and you can measure the volume of our happiness. Now I know why people here stop and stare at me and my Naija friends—it isn’t because we are so fine! Oh no, we are Nigerians and we are loud.

 

Òjògbón

Fans cheer on the Nigerian team during their World Cup qualifier soccer match against Algeria in Ora..You know, I have heard this thing over and again. That Nigerians are the happiest people on the planet. And I’m wondering, really? If it’s happiness that gives us some of the traits which are universally now synonymous with Nigerians, then I would recommend that we take some dose of chill-pill and please calm down! At least, a little!

First off, why do Nigerians shout so much?

I know you have all experienced this. You see an old friend whom you haven’t seen in a while and he screams, “MY GUYYYYY!!!!!! THIS GUYYYY!!!! HOW FAR NAAHHHH!!!!!” The first thing you want to do is, “ooohh..kkk??? what is this serious?” But being a Nigerian, you totally understand and you respond in this same high pitch, “AH! I DEY O!!! WETIN DEY HAPPEN???” Then you would have to endure a huge SLAP of a handshake which usually leaves your hand smarting and red!

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4 thoughts on “The Volume of Happiness

  1. “Girl next door”, this is leaving a wide grin on my face. Well, I think on a scale of 1-10, the Americans come 12! How do you tell two Americans are sitting 5 rows behind you? You can join their conversation with your headphones on….okay a bit of an exaggeration…Just yesterday, while I was trying to luxuriate in the lower class business lounge (I am still puzzled why the class conscious British airways, would try so hard to put me down… When will I get there, be separate from the masses), sorry for the digression, as I was saying, I was settling into my ritual of getting a drink, connecting all my Igadgets to the free wifi and being the executive reading and sending emails to save the world (really, it’s Facebook, whatsapp and viber). Mr man I did not see arrive at the extreme end of the rather large room gets on the phone, “hey how are you doing! I made it to the airport! I left something for you in the car, look to your left, open the glovebox, there is an envelope in there with some pounds for you!” Okay Mr generous, some level of quiet is expected in airport lounges. “You know, I was lucky I did not stay back at the country, my friend’s car packed up this morning, I would have been in the middle of nowhere, the AA said it is the alternator. You know, I still had the train tickets and the train station was just five minutes away. If I was in the country, where the auction took place, it would have taken me hours to get to a train station. The station attendant said oh, the speed train will be here in 15mins (arrrgh, i can fill the blanks…quiet! BA, separation of classes!). Well I am here now (I know), my flight is at 1pm to Indianapolis”. TMI, I know you are American.

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    1. Lol! Frank, I can imagine the scene.

      On my train, which stops at Schiphol en route Amsterdam Central, their distinct accent is the loudest on the train. Second only to the Naija guy on the phone asking about how the last ‘Western Union’ he sent was disbursed!

      btw, I am praying for your promotion to ‘upper’ Business Class 🙂

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