I Do

I do

Some people believe that after they’ve met The One, they could never develop feelings for another. I think that if we are blindfolded we may be unable to distinguish touch from touch. This is not an argument against monogamy, but for focus.

In his book Outliers, The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell says that hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning1.  In making the point that excellence requires a critical minimum level of practice, he says ten thousand hours is the magic number that researchers have agreed on for true expertise2. That’s an awful amount of focus.

Livelytwist and I have been married for a year and as much as she has pleasured me past our honeymoon weekend of 2,000 views, family, friends, work, hobbies, books, TV, social media, and a hundred other commitments compete for my attention. If I have achieved any kind of excellence in this marriage, it is because I rarely let anything come between Livelytwist and me.

Our marriage has not been without its challenges. Although I spend hours conjuring word pictures to process big ideas, promoting these ideas beyond my small circle tasks me. Learning how to ‘shout’ on Twitter and Facebook does not excite me. The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself.3

I remember that at twelve or thirteen, my mum gave me the talk.

“You’ve started your period. From now on, if a boy touches you like this,” she tapped my arm, “you’ll get pregnant!”

I did not take her words to heart. But the next day, as I played tag with the kids on my street, the horror of how many times I could get pregnant weighed on my heart. At dinnertime, I watched the boys run to their homes while I trudged to mine, sure that my stomach had already started swelling. I stopped playing tag after that.

My mother had successfully sold me her abstinence formula, which I bought until I turned sixteen and the boys came to play tag in droves. Only then did she change her marketing strategy.

Where I come from, we call every carbonated drink Coke. Such is the brand dominance Coca-Cola enjoys, and yet the company still spends millions on advertising.  I realise that I must first write posts that resonate with readers, before I figure out how to get them to read it, and then be ready to change when my methods age.

At the same time, I do not want to be that guy at the airport, who you ask, “What do you do?” and he answers, “I’m in sales, and you?” Then while your lips are opening, he tells you about his eBooks, his tenor rising, rising, dropping, rising, rising, as he shoves a Kindle in your face. You cannot get a word in edgeways, so you promise to buy at least one book and make a mental note to go for confession. When you throw the bookmark he gave you in the bin, all that remains from the encounter is the smell of musk.

The first indicator that someone outside my close circle was anticipating my blog post came a few months after I started blogging.

Lively, how far? It’s 2 p.m. here and we’ve been waiting all day for your blog post.

This email from a reader via my contact form proved that my walk was louder than any talk I could have given for he had noticed my Sunday-Sunday consistency. It changed the game for me. I shovelled out my doubts about blogging and said, “I do” to Livelytwist.

All of you who share my posts on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and by word-of-mouth, are my connectors to the rest of the world. Your referrals are fresh like 8 a.m. doughnuts and relevant like Google. You helped me stay faithful to Livelytwist. At every crossroad, you lifted the lamp of love, and I saw in your face, the road that I should take.

Thank you.

 

©Timi Yeseibo 2014

 

Related posts from Livelytwist:

https://livelytwist.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/wordpress-103-recruiting-followers/

https://livelytwist.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/wordpress-104-in-search-of-content/

 

  1. Gladwell, Malcom, Outliers, The Story of Success, (London: Penguin Books, 2009), 175
  2. Ibid., 43 – 44.
  3. Peter Drucker Quote: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/peterdruck154444.html

 

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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61 thoughts on “I Do

  1. …”You’ve started your period. From now on, if a boy touches you like this,” she tapped my arm, “you’ll get pregnant!….”

    Ah! I am still laughing, my mother gave my sister and I this coded speech too.

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  2. I don’t FB or tweet. No time – even if they interested me. I know I’m doing without the airlift in cyberspace but it’s just how it must be for me. No way I can add one more thing, with the homeschool going. I grinned at your mom’s pitch and your horror playing tag LOL.

    Very enjoyable post. I’ve no doubt you will continue to shine, T.

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    1. But isn’t that the beauty of focus though? Knowing where to deploy your energy so you can maximize results? You’ve done a great job growing your blog, I admire you.

      Oh mums, they tell the weirdest tales 🙂

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  3. Love the word pictures you paint with such beautiful prose. It’s fun to travel with you as you meander along roads that scream for our attention. Good work, LivelyTwist!

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  4. Happy Married life o, one of these days CSOG and I will soon come and meet you for counselling. 😀

    Oh & Yes O, your posts have slowly become as addictive as Sunday Rice. You’re always a Joy to read, glad to have met The Livelytwists.

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  5. May the honeymoon never stop! LOL @ your mom’s words about a girl’s attainment of puberty. Mothers, ehn? Exaggeration na serious business o!

    Happy blogging, Timi.

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  6. You’re welcome.

    “…first write posts that resonate with readers, before I figure out how to get them to read it…” Crucial, noteworthy bit. Just can’t agree more.

    Timi, the Sundays in April seem to drift by so fast I’m afraid there’s just one left to enjoy your riveting (hi)story.

    Happy Married Life, Livelytwist.

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    1. . . . that crucial noteworthy bit, yes! I’m glad you’ve followed our (hi)story. Sometimes it’s good to reflect on your journey.

      Thank you Bunmi for flying with me, and see you on Sunday!

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  7. Congratulations on your blogging relationship and landmark in time. You have been great with all the obstacles that daily checking blogs and writing faithfully encompasses. There are many challenges in my blogging and I am remiss in falling behind in some of my favorite bloggers readings by myself. Take care and may you always stay on your honeymoon! Hugs, Robin

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  8. Well, I saw it, even if others didn’t… the jab below the belt on that marketer. 😦
    Don’t blame my observation… that’s what I ply for my daily garri.
    But sincerely, this your title though…??? Happy union

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    1. You did Charles. The point though was not to shoot down anyone, but to show that I don’t want to be obnoxious or a jerk in the name of marketing my blog. When I meet people, I’m looking to tell them about my blog in a way that’s natural and in a way that highlights what they stand to benefit from my blog.

      The eBook author in my example was all about me, myself, and I. His ‘potential victim’ could not even get a word in edgeways . . .

      @my title, well the point was to hint at the level of commitment that goes into my blogging. I had the photo, the poem, and the title before I started writing. My heart wanted to write an epic love story between Livelytwist and me, but as I typed, these were the words that unfolded 🙂

      Thank you so much for your support through the year.

      Like

  9. Here we are, about one year of your marriage, thank God for the fruits of the union… Your marriage is indeed a blessing…
    And… Since I read the piece you did once with a caption about passion and fire, I have learnt to finish reading before concluding what you wanna say…

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    1. Ha ha, I just finished explaining to Charles above, how the post unfolded. There wasn’t any gimmick involved. What I did in Fire.Passion.Desire, was deliberate though 🙂 But it’s always nice when we connect and you get me.

      Thank you Ife for your encouragement. I always enjoy reading your uplifting words on the subject of purpose.

      Like

  10. I know how much of a tease Timi is where romance is concerned, so the title didn’t fool me, although, that didn’t reduce the beauty of the piece.

    Me and my love are going through a separation now. Like they say, we need time apart to figure out some things. But with people like Timi serving weekly inspirations, there’s no doubt I’ll be back where I belong soon – very soon.

    Now, you need to post a proper romance story soon or do we have to file an official request for that?

    Well done ma’am. You deserve all the accolades you get.

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    1. Sometimes time apart is a good thing. I remember when I took a break in October last year and reblogged other’s posts, I came back ready to roll. So, I’m confident you’ll return with more fire.

      Okay, no official request needed. I will write a love story soon. Your part? Pray for inspiration 🙂
      Ife, I’ve found so much joy connecting with bloggers like you. Thanks for supporting my marriage!

      Like

  11. LOL. So I’m probably the only one who did not expect romance. Good.

    You’re right, Timi. Our readers are everything. It doesn’t feel good to cook up a storm and no one is hungry enough.

    Maybe someday, I’ll be a better boyfriend too 😦

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    1. @romance: Ty, hang around this blog and you begin to get me.

      Samuel Okopi says, “Relationships are oxygen.” For me as a writer/blogger, it’s so true. If I had no readers, I wouldn’t breathe. His statement, some comments here, and on Happy New Love, show romance is what people want to read. I should write a few love stories . . .

      @better boyfriend, hey, start by writing another love story, I enjoyed this one PREOCCUPATION: LOVE (THE HALF MAN) I

      Thank you so much.

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  12. At dinnertime, I watched the boys run to their homes while I trudged to mine, sure that my stomach had already started swelling. I stopped playing tag after that.

    Haha, this was funny, what the mind can do eh!!!

    I could only smile as I read this because you’re the same person who wrote that post on Passion and Desire and had most people rushing here to get gist all for them to be surprised.loool

    I have heard about Gladwell but I haven’t read his book. I haven’t even finished reading Daniel Coleman’s Emotional Intelligence. Other things keep competing for attention. Don’t mind me.

    Hmmmn, this marriage thing between you and Livelytwist.., tis well o 🙂

    Well done once again

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    1. @pregnant, funny eh? But I guess that’s what her mother told her too!

      Oh my, Fire.Passion.Desire I remember 🙂
      The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. Aha, readers want love stories 😉

      I’m glad WordPress connected us. Your being here spurs me to work hard on my marriage. Thank you.

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      1. hahaha,@readers want love stories. So you must give us love stories oo…or we will protest.

        @I’m glad WordPress connected us. Your being here spurs me to work hard on my marriage.

        awww, and because of you, I will go and watch the long awaited Last of the Mohicans that has been on my laptop. It sounds sad with what you’ve mentioned but I must give you feedback 😀

        I’m glad I found your blog too. It’s been a wonderful journey of chitchatting and understanding 🙂

        Like

  13. Haha! I was so sure this was going to be a post about love and romance. I didn’t expect what came after. I’m happy you have a reason to stay faithful to Livelytwist and reading your blog is always a pleasure! 🙂

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  14. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who came here looking for romance. You’re such a troll, lol.

    On the other hand, this relationship is very romantic. I wonder who wears the pants; Timi or Livelytwist? And no, I don’t think you’ll release such precious info. Then again, it’s livelytwist. We don’t know what to expect! Ha ha 😀

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    1. Maggielola, first of all, I am surprised to see you here in the comment section this early. So, these are the kinds of graphics I need to reel you in early. Best marketing gimmick ever!

      I just knew you’d be itching for another kind of love story 🙂

      @pants, no bother, I’ll tell. We give and take a lot, there’s a lot of sharing. But considering that I’m usually hitting my keyboard way past my bedtime and at weekends too, I’ll say Livelytwist wears it more.

      Thank you for making my married life richer!

      Like

      1. Oh— we just had a different preacher at church today. He saved me from the pretense of reading the scriptures from my smartphone and the embarrassment from defaulting to “Praise the Lord” when an usher catches me reading something different!

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  15. That which God has put together, let no mortal put assunder…,..long live your marriage, long live livelytwist, long live all the followers and offspring of this union, long live blogger’s world over

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  16. I recently bought ‘The Outliers’ but haven’t started reading it. I have also reviewed Kwesi Brew’s ‘The Mesh’ on my blog so this post has been a refreshing read. I have heard many times what consistency, regularity and persistence can do for a brand. Any brand. Good to know you said ‘I do’. Your blog is a pleasant read always, Timi.

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  17. Thank you Tonbareg. I’ve come this far because of you! So far, I’ve enjoyed the countless hours and many times, I am just as surprised as you are by my creativity. One reward of this marriage is the positive response my posts evoke.

    Like

  18. Nice and thanks for appreciating us your readers . We appreciate the countless hours, your creativity and the thoughtfullness you put into coming up with posts that make us smile at times, laugh so many other times and makes us think seriously sometimes. Thanks we appreciate you too!

    Like

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