Shifting Gears [6]

Marilyn Monroe

A Leggy Affair

As a teenager, I imbibed ideas about acceptable body shapes from the people around me. So, I believed that a girl’s legs were beautiful only if they were straight like bamboo stems from the knees to the ankles, with no protruding muscles aka yams interrupting the flow.

Well, I inherited my father’s footballer legs, so during my years at university and for years afterwards, I hid my legs underneath trousers and maxis to escape mockery. My insecurity over what I deemed a flaw was like a thing around my neck, choking self-approval out of me.

Like a child force-fed by her determined grandmother, I spent my twenties swallowing popular beauty ideals of the society where I lived. They became the yardstick for measuring myself. I felt inadequate whenever I spotted a pair of bamboo legs. I considered the owner a lucky winner of the anatomy lottery because to me, having straight legs made one outstanding, special even.

In retrospect, that was laughable because straight legs do not shield their owners from life’s troubles. It is not as though those with straight legs can flash their exclusive Bamboo Club gold membership card and Life would say, “Aww, perfect pins, move along then, no troubles for you today. Next!”

Bamboo legs conferred no special advantages that I could see.

Still, at my old gym, when someone complimented my well-defined calves, I had to stop myself from peering at my legs, with lips turned downwards and eyebrows arched, as if to ask, “Me?”

I don’t know how I finally adjusted my beliefs regarding what is acceptable or not acceptable as far as my body is concerned. I suppose that as I approached my thirties, I began to ponder the whys of life even more stubbornly. Moreover, I realized that my legs would never change their shape; in fact, they would become even more muscled due to my new-found love for exercise.

My epiphany hit me like a clap of thunder. I woke up one day and suddenly every leg-concealing piece of clothing seemed revolting. Out went the trousers and maxis, and in came the short girly dresses and skirts that I’d always looked at longingly but felt I shouldn’t wear.

Recently, the instructor at my new gym praised my toned leg muscles; he wished he could devote more time to Leg Day as he assumed I did. I stifled a cheeky chuckle and in my head I sang, baby I was born this way.

Does clarity come with age? Or is this delicious comfort I have found in my own skin, this assuredness, my way of sticking my middle finger at my overdependence on external validation? Perhaps, I now understand that my quest for courage to set my personal ideals begins with embracing the things I am powerless to change.

These days, when I walk into the gym I spend a few minutes at the mirror-panelled walls, looking at my legs and smiling. I’ve come to love my legs especially the yams, which lend character to them. Not unlike the multiple perspectives that the angled mirrors provide, I can see either flaws or two healthy limbs to walk and dance with. Gratefully, I choose the latter.

I have one life to live and only this body with which to live it. The warmth of the sun and fresh air brushing my legs is wonderful; the prospect of a Marilyn Monroe dress-flying-in-the-wind moment is even more wonderful.

© ’Nedu Ahanonu, 2015
’Nedu blogs @ Nedoux.com

 

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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82 thoughts on “Shifting Gears [6]

    1. Hi Larz,

      Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words.

      I am glad that you’ve fallen in love with your legs too. Do you know that bow legs are now referred to as “Sexy Beyonce legs”? 😉

      Have a great weekend.

      Like

  1. Ah, mine was my forehead, I would spend hours in front of the mirror trying to cover it up. But I have since discovered that it’s better left on ‘display’ and nowadays I wonder why I was worried about it before. Nice post.

    Like

  2. Oh this piece… Brilliant. I love a toned leg. So glad you’re flaunting it.
    First of all anytime I’m about to read a Nedu writeup, I curl up with an imaginary cup of tea to savour what’s sure to be a yummy piece. Can’t just scarf it down savagely y’know?
    In my early to mid teens I was so self conscious about being short, about my glasses, I even had a problem with my little nose. Somehow as I grew I began to accept and then love it all; being so easily portable, nerd chic and I love my nose.
    When my friends go on about some (insane) perceived flaw, I’m… ‘flabber-whelmed’! But I give the best pep talks because I’ve been there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sandra, I suppose that most of us have had to deal with a ‘flaw’ or three, so we are ‘at home’ reading Nedu’s post 🙂
      Isn’t this something… you give the best pep talks, because you’ve been there. That’s wonderful!
      Thanks.

      Like

  3. ‘Nedu, everyone has flaws and sore feelings from a misplaced compliment or mean spirited insult. Thanks for finding yourself and coming to a secure place. As a short person whose legs are bruised yet thin, I wish I had better veins snd longer legs, only when dress shopping. I tend to wear pants and maxi dresses! Lol 😀

    Like

  4. Ahh Nedu’s soothing words.

    Your legs. My lips and lack of “assets” being an efik girl and all. We all struggle with our insecurities. Great that you’ve overcome yours.

    I no longer see “lipson” or “pomo” lips when I look in the mirror. People here are paying big money for full lips like mine.

    As for the “assets” that I still don’t have, I’m happy with my svelte figure. Haha

    PS: I have yam legs too and I love them!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi SEG,

      Aww, thank you so much for reading. 🙂

      Ah! We all have insecurities that become laughable after we overcome them.

      @ “Yam and Pomo”, the mean people who create these slangs must really love food. Lol

      People march into plastic surgeon’s office armed with photographs of Mrs. Jolie-Pitt’s pillowy pout, and you got yours effortlessly. Halleluyah!

      Lucky girl, with your slender shape you will look twenty-one forever.

      Compliments of the season!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ll read whatever Nedu writes.. When it comes to my body, I’ve decided that I’ll do my best to change the things that can be changed that I actually want to change and just fall in love with the rest of it. It’s truly just one life and I’ll rather spend it thankful and carefree than being self conscious! Such a lovely post..
    Compliments of the season.. :*

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Ella,

      Ah! You’ve made my day, thank you so much. 😀

      That is a sensible decision, being able to make the clear distinction between what can be changed and not be changed brings peace.

      Indeed, life is too short for unnecessary dissatisfaction. “Thankful and carefree” sounds great, reminds me of a beach, sea shells and swaying coconut trees. Lol

      Have a fabulous Christmas dear, I wish you joy in the New Year!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Modupe,

      Thank you so much for your kind words

      Ah! There is actually such a thing as ‘Hairy Legs Club’, – a group of women who have chosen to stop shaving their legs. They are against society telling women that they’re supposed to be hairless. I bet the makers of Veet aren’t too happy about this. 😀

      Compliments of the season!

      Like

    1. Hi Jean,

      Yes, appreciation. I no longer see flaws when I look at my legs, I simply see healthy limbs that can walk, run and dance.

      I am quite the dancer. 🙂

      Thank you for reading, enjoy the rest of the weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. “straight legs do not shield their owners from life’s troubles.” They don’t?!

    Speaking of societal ideals (and substandards), I remember being offended watching Disney’s Mulan when I was in college. She had short, stumpy turnip calves – I suPPOse bc she was Asian??!! MY legs were not like that. Grrr!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Diana,

      Lol… If only.

      “Societal substandards” cracked me up 😀 Stereotypes are, sometimes, laughably inaccurate.

      Thank you so much for reading.

      Have a lovely weekend!

      Like

  7. Cant say enough how much I LOOOOVE this post, I loathed my legs too when I was younger…I wouldnt show them to anyone, and could barely look at them myself, I havnt reached the same legepiphany as you but now I wear midi pieces and that is huuuge for me. You ask if clarity comes with age, for me it did- that and Men! I would love to be a feminist and say I learned to love my body myself but specific men in my past helped me shed away a bit of my leg issues….and back to you- so happy to hear about all this praise you are getting for your pins and the healthier outlook you have on your legs/body! ( :

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Biki,

      Thank you so much for reading and loving it. 🙂

      I am so glad that you are getting over your leg issues. I used to feel the same way, could barely look at my legs as I’d be reminded me that they didn’t look how I wanted them to.

      Lol @ feminist. You’ve raised a valid point, I do know what you mean, sometimes a woman trusts the way that a man looks at her and thrives when he makes her feel special.

      Ah! The best part is that my healthier outlook on my legs has improved how I see my overall self.

      “Happiness is a decision” may sound rather clichéd, but I’ve found that it is true. These days, I race after happiness with arms outstretched and fingers wriggling.

      Have a lovely-rest-of-the-week!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Prosper,

      I agree with you. Acceptance is sometimes easier said than done, but I’ve come realise that when it’s finally achieved, it’s hard to let go of the freedoms that accompany it.

      Yes, a precious gift. 🙂

      Thank you so much for reading.

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Marie,

      Thank you so much for reading. It’s heart-warming how we can relate with each other’s battles. Yes, I am happy that it came, and even happier that I didn’t leave it too late to have had one. 🙂

      Have a lovely-rest-of-the-week!

      Like

  8. Nedoux!!!

    This one, you know what it did to me? It made me wonder!

    Wonder at what name I call certain stuff, the tags I have placed on them, why I have placed those tags, the influences and their final effect. It gave renewed strength to my thoughts and opinions plus a more in-depth perspective to the things I consider mundane.

    While I read about your legs, I didn’t think about mine. This post gave me a first class trip to a different place, some where deep, it had the power to :-).

    This short piece did all that in less than 10 minutes, I have you to thank for it.

    I love the depth that your writings present, they come in varying exciting colours and without the slightest effort.

    I love you every time I read you. I love more the place that reading you keeps me. So far, your opinions create spots my body and mind are at peace to be.

    Well done!

    XX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Flo,

      It’s feels nice when one’s story causes other people to reflect.

      @ “It gave renewed strength to my thoughts and opinions plus a more in-depth perspective to the things I consider mundane” made me smile. It’s funny how the things that seem ordinary to us are like battlefields to others. Lol

      Ah! I wish I could nod smugly in agreement, but I cannot because the truth is that, for me, the process of infusing my writings with depth takes much effort sometimes. 😀

      Thank you so much for your kind words and support dear.

      Have a lovely rest-of-the-week!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Nedoux!!! Teach me how to write. :*

    My own version of life as a teen…
    Everyone, I mean EVERYONE told me I had beautiful eyes. At first I wasn’t aware of how beautiful they looked. I was only too aware they were (and still are) bulgy. Lol. Those compliments never stopped pouring in, was bullied by my classmates (boys) in school. I became self-conscious everywhere I went. I couldn’t look at anyone striaight in the eyes because I sincerely didn’t want to hear them compliment my eyes.

    Now, as an adult, I find it sooo hard to look at people in the eyes while speaking to them. It makes people think I’m shady or shy…I just tire. Working on that now.

    In all, I’m grateful for who I am and how I am. 🙂

    Ebonyduchess Blog

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Duchess,

      Lol… Now I feel like a serious-minded person. I am still learning, you’ve reminded me to send my application for tutorials to Timi.

      Your comment touched me deeply, It’s funny how we are sometimes oblivious to the qualities that other people admire about us . The first time I saw your beautiful eyes, I thought “Sexy eyes”. You are one lucky girl, your husband will find it hard to refuse any request you make once you melt his heart with that alluring gaze. 🙂

      Half the time, it’s only that small voice inside our heads but our self-doubt gives life to the assumption that it’s all coming from outside. Enjoy the compliments like sweet music and twirl till you get dizzy.

      “I’m grateful for who I am and how I am.” is so heart-warming. It took me a while to get to that point, I am thankful that I eventually arrived.

      Thank you so much for reading, have a lovely-rest-of-the-week.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Truly self acceptance is the key.

    I remember those days when as a young lady you gets so conscious of everything, from your eyes to the shape of your nose to your month and then your legs…. Did I forget to mention your hips etc.Guess that is why we now have a lot of different modes to fix these supposed inadequacies.

    One thing that resonates however is that until you truly accept yourself the way you are, you have not starting living and you may be unhappy for a long time. Peace and fulfillment comes with self- acceptance

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jane,

      Lol…The many etceteras that young ladies deal with. So much importance is placed on body parts, as if the size of one’s hips makes one any less of a woman.

      I guess so too. These days, I am less judgemental when people decide to use those modes to perfect supposed imperfections, I sincerely understand that it is simply the pursuit of happiness.

      Ah! You put it so beautifully, the fulfilment that comes from self-acceptance radiates so brightly. 🙂

      Thank you so much for reading, have a lovely-rest-of-the-week!

      Like

  11. Sorry I actually want to end my comment with this quote. I actually don’t know the author but I have lives by it principle

    Lord grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, faith to change what i can change and the wisdom to know the difference

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I believe that the Serenity Prayer (by Reinhold Niebuhr) provides tips for true happiness.

      Armed with the wisdom to differentiate between the changeables and unchangeables, we find both the strength to conquer our internal battles and peace to just live.

      Ah! It is a wonderful principle to live by. 🙂

      Enjoy the rest of the week!

      Like

  12. Yam leg, pimpled face, squeaky voice, hipless and what have you. I dreamt of one day when beauty won’t be defined by the physical, maybe I am bipolar. The truth is everyone of us struggle with one insecurities or the other.

    As someone said, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. There are no perfect human being physically anywhere, even when it seems so, however when you look close you could always find a handful.

    When I was younger, I had the privilege of enrolling in a computer school. That year I was made the student chaplain. I was called forth on grad day to give an opening speech, immediately my voice echo through the microphone. I was speechless, embarrassed and sad. I had always has this baby voice and had practise enough to deepened my voice with different elixir, alas! They all fail me that day. Since then I decline ever speaking in public function.

    Though I had overcome that issues but it took me a long time to build confidence. Even now my voice on call is entirely different unlike when we meet face to face. I have to accept my flaws and some more and move on.

    Lovely, articulate, enigmatic and encouraging writeup you got.

    Merry Christmas in advance. I am not justa a reader, I am a fan

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Immanuel,

      I love the points that you raised.

      Yes, all sorts of insecurities. I am glad that I shared my experience, it’s comforting to read about other people’s stories. We are the same, all trying to live this life.

      I’ve noticed that if beauty indeed lies in the eyes of the beholder, we sometimes forget that we are both the beheld and the beholder when we are the ones being observed. And how we see ourselves is just as important.

      It’s nice to know that you overcame your issues with your voice. Confidence is silent, Insecurities are loud.

      Very true, self-acceptance frees us.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Merry Christmas. 🙂

      Like

    1. Hi Jackie,

      I agree with you, self-love is delightful. If one learns to love theirself just as they are, it opens them to love other people genuinely.

      Oh yes! XD

      Thank you so much for reading, have a great-rest-of-the-week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Ms. MM,

      Hmm… you’ve given me another idea, “FIE” might as well be added to the string of letters that announce one’s qualifications. It sounds rather important. You genius! Lol

      Thank you so much for reading. 🙂

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Benn,

      Thank you so much for reading.

      I love the famous picture too, she looked so free. Marilyn is one of the most recognized beauties of all time. I particularly like how she embraced her curves at a time when slender demure beauty was considered ideal.

      Yes, shapely calves look very nice. “Leg man” made me smile. 🙂

      Enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  13. Nedu,

    A writer after my heart. You always deliver. “Does clarity come with age? Or is this delicious comfort I have found in my own skin, this assuredness, my way of sticking my middle finger at my overdependence on external validation?” This got me cos I spent my teenage years and the earlier part of my twenties learning to love and embrace myself and my body…esp my legs (believe it or not). When I post pictures on social media or update my bbm dp and I’m wearing something that reveals my legs, you should see the messages I get.. sigh! Thank you Nedu…

    Epiphany29.com
    Animal Prints X Giveaway

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Grace,

      Thank you so much for your kind words dear.

      It’s quite interesting how people deal with body issues predominantly during their teenage years to their twenties. I suppose that’s the time for figuring life out, after which one starts to reinvent themselves.

      Older and wiser…

      Your legs are hot, I’ve seen them. 🙂

      You are most welcome, enjoy the rest of the week.

      Like

  14. It’s funny/strange how we get these beauty ideals stuck in our heads. How much of our youths are ruined by these horrible ideas! It’s taken me forever, it seems, to embrace my so-called flaws. But often what others see in us is soooo fascinating because they don’t see our “flaws”!

    And like you, I’ve proud of my “*yams* (good one). Cheers.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Lani,

      Yes, very funny how they stick. If something tastes bitter in one’s mouth, they might as well spit it out. Lol

      I agree with you, youths sadly spent wallowing in unnecessary misery and insecurities. Truly fascinating, thankfully, that’s the beauty of perspective, many ways of seeing the same thing.

      While the acceptance journey seems like it took forever, you (and I) eventually arrived and that’s what counts. Well done. 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, have a lovely week.

      Liked by 2 people

  15. I loved this piece from the first sentence, the story tugged my heart and I didn’t want it to end. Seeing that it was written by Nedu was like finding an extra pot of gold at the rainbow’s end.
    I have stretchmarks on my shoulders and when I was in my teens and early twenties, I absolutely refused to consider clothes with mini sleeves. It saddens me when I think of the beautiful dresses I passed up because of my insecurities.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Adaeze,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂

      I am glad that you could relate to my story. I understand the sadness that you wrote about.

      Most women have stretch marks, some men too. The thing is, covering up a flaw for failing to meet up to mainstream beauty ideals feels like a subtle apology to other people. Hiding my legs was equivalent to me being polite enough not to assault their visual senses with my supposed imperfection.

      Well, I didn’t find any cute Thank You cards in my mail box for not blinding them with my yams nor for shielding them from cringing and sniggering. So, to what end? Lol

      I like the liberties that come with self-approval.

      Have a lovely week

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Wow, I could have written this post. Like you, I exercise a lot. As a result, I have large calf muscles. I’ve always been self-conscious about them. I have a difficult time finding boots that will contain my muscles. 😦 Thankfully, there are short boots available. 😦

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hello Jill,

      I am happy that the post resonates with you. Self-consciousness is quite painful.

      The things that I am powerless to change I’ve learned to embrace, and the things that I can change I will try to. This is one of the reasons that I enjoy exercising, though I wasn’t born with washboard abs I am gradually creating them with daily crunches and sit-ups. Lol

      Short boots look just as nice, all the better to show off your toned legs with. 😉

      Have a lovely week.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Derrick,

      Lol… Yes, you’ll be the first one to know. Would you do me the honour of taking a photograph that becomes even more iconic than Ms. Monroe’s? 😀

      Thank you so much for reading, have a great week!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Glad you made peace with your “yam” legs. 🙂 I have my own story with height. The thing in my case was that it was always other people who were belly-aching about it. So I was short, so what? No amount of beans was making me taller and I couldn’t do anything about it plus I was always lost somewhere in my head anyway. So the “short man” vibes were always sounding a bit too distant to matter. The trouble only began when I found that I liked a girl and she played the mind game thing. Then I’d start wondering whether it was my pensive nature or my loquaciousness or my diminutive height that cost me her love. That happened maybe four times in my life.

    I’m generally unconscious of my height. And, sometimes, when I start to think about it, the thought comes to me that if I was tall in addition to being smart, handsome, driven, and a gentleman (all things people say about me, never mind what I think), it would be really unfair to other guys and I might be too perfect for women I like. Lol. It’s bad enough that women find it hard to believe that I am what I say I am even with my 5’7″ slender frame. 😀

    Anyway, it’s my belief and my experience that if you are grateful for what God has given to you and take good care of it, you will very likely find that though you lack conventional beauty, you will be exquisite, desirable and lovely anyway and people will find you just as attractive as if you glowed with all that media stuff.

    PS, I happen to like “yam” legs just fine. Didn’t even know that I could fall hard for a relatively big girl with “yam” legs after all the lepa’s that have waltzed through my life, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Odii,

      I read your comment twice, it made me smile, laugh heartily and shake my head up & down, both with understanding and appreciation. Thank you so much.

      Yes, I am glad that I made peace with my yams.

      I admire your confidence, some people struggle with their height. I’ve learned something from stand-up comedians; When you make fun of yourself first, suddenly, the joke loses it’s sting factor and people don’t find it as appealing. There’s no point jabbing a person who seems impenetrable.

      Pretty much like the quote that Nancy shared- “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

      I mentally stood up and clapped after I had read this- “If you are grateful for what God has given to you and take good care of it, you will very likely find that though you lack conventional beauty, you will be exquisite, desirable and lovely anyway and people will find you just as attractive as if you glowed with all that media stuff. It gave me an “Up Nepa” thrill. Lol

      Ah! Love has a way of laughing at one’s specs list. 😀

      Have a great week!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kai! I wee call you to review any book I write, abeg. Lol. When two people say thank you to each other who says ‘you’re welcome’? Thank you for enjoying my comment biko. And you’re completely right about the lesson you learned from stand-up artistes. I grew up with that philosophy. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Moving from the desire for external validation to an internal compass pays BIG dividends:

    To be nobody but yourself ~ in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else ~ means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~ e.e.cummings

    He who trims himself to suit everyone else will soon whittle himself away.
    ~ Raymond Hull

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello Nancy,

      Yes, it sure does.

      Spot on! @ “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” I couldn’t have articulated this better.

      Yes, I’ve learned that the way one perceives themselves somehow creates an aura around them that people feed off of and replicate.

      It’s nice how when you reveal your struggles, people can relate and with understanding they will sometimes provide wings that carry you even higher above your fears.

      Thank you so much for sharing the wise quotes 🙂

      Have a great week!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Hello Timi,

    Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to contribute to this series. I told myself that I’d read this like I hadn’t seen it before, and that’s what I did. 🙂

    Writing down my experience was very therapeutic. For most people, there’s that one thing they’ve struggled or still struggle with. My issues with my legs were so real to me, it made me sad sometimes.

    There’s a sense of pride when we overcome the nonsensities that contaminate our self-perception, separate the wheat from the chaff and focus on what’s actually meaningful.

    Ah! My sewing skills would have been less fun if I had to limit my creativity to leg-wrappers. 😀

    Have a great week!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nedu, what an honour and absolute pleasure to host you on my blog.

      I am glad to hear that writing was therapeutic for you. I can only imagine your sadness over your yams. Your post made me remember my skinny days- I had skinny legs. I think they bothered me at some point … In my early twenties, I noticed that some girls with legs that I considered worse than mine, were ‘rocking’ mini skirts. It dawned on me that it takes confidence to wear mini skirts (or any piece of clothing), not nice legs . . .

      I think age has something to do with some measure of self-acceptance… I may be wrong. But the older I get, the more accepting I am of my body ‘flaws’.

      How wonderful for you that you’ve come to that place; It’s a very attractive place 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lol @ “‘rocking’ mini skirts”. I went through that phase too, wondering how girls with even bigger yams than mine could flaunt them without a care in the world.

        Very true, the confidence that comes from a healthy self-esteem will take one above and beyond.

        Yes, a very attractive place indeed. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I remember being so jealous of a mean-spirited, confident cheerleader at school who had well-defined “yams” as you call them. I was a post-anorexic introvert and wondered how this popular mean girl was blessed with sass and great legs.

    Looking back so many years later I realize that some of us take a while to realize that the things we hide about ourselves are often the very traits that make us interesting and productive humans. I finally got her legs with some exercise (a life saver), but the real life saver was seeing how pride worked so deeply in my life. I thought I was humble because I was insecure but really it was pride causing me to constantly rate myself and others. Once I got a handle on pride my world opened up.

    Thanks for this thought-provoking piece.

    Peace to you!
    Adrienne

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Adrienne,

      Thank you so much for reading and for your insightful comment.

      Surely there’s an element of irony with regards to how beauty is perceived differently across societies. On my own side of the fence, muscly legs on a woman are considered not so attractive, whereas on your own side, they are. 😀

      I sincerely appreciate your words of wisdom. I agree wholeheartedly with you, it all comes down to the need to measure ourselves against others. Yes, it takes some of us a while to arrive at this realization, but when we eventually get there, the clarity that it brings also carries peace with it.

      Self-approval allows us to open doors both within and outside ourselves.

      Have a great week!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I ran through this post faster than a Ferrari on a Grand Prix racecourse. It had me from the second line and I could more than relate. I’ve struggled accepting the shape of my legs since I was a teenager. Strange enough, no-one has ever told me I have ‘ugly legs’ but I suspect a lot of social factors contributed to my negative self-image. It didn’t help that I developed stretch marks at 13 and I was the only teenager I knew of whose mom was buying her creams to get rid of them.
    In short, this post spoke to me, although I can’t claim to have gotten over my issues, I’m now wearing dresses more and more instead of hiding in jeans and tees.

    Thanks for this post and this series.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello Unathi,

      Thank you so much for reading, I am glad it resonated with you.

      We all have our struggles. I’ve learned that after you swallow the ideal the first time, the rest of the time the nagging doubts start to come only from inside your head. Self-torture is the worst kind, it is silent, dancing wickedly inside one’s head.

      No one has ever issued me a “yam ticket” for exposing my muscly legs in public. In fact, I dare them to! XD

      There are all sorts of Beauties, I refuse to accept that it can only ever be black or white, gray hues are just as interesting.

      Well done! Dresses are so much fun.

      Have a great week.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Nedoux, thanks a lot for sharing. Oftentimes we think we are the only ones in the world until someone like you crosses our cyber path telling their truth and we suddenly feel okay.

        I’m encouraged.

        A great week to you too 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

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