Riposte: To Catch A Fly

quote men

Ife Nihinlola’s article follows from last week’s dialogue between two girlfriends about the ‘elusive’ boyfriend. He creatively presents the viewpoint of the said boyfriend. Read last week’s post here.

 

Riposte: To Catch A Fly

 

“So, talk to me. How did it go?”

“Fine.”

“What is fine? I said how did it go?”

“Fine na. What else do you want me to say?”

“Don’t even start. I didn’t cover for you so you can come back here with fine. Abeg, tell me the full story. What did you guys do?”

“We didn’t do anything, really. I headed to her place after leaving work and called her when I was close to their estate, telling her I was in their area.”

“Hmmm, smooth . . .”

“Not smooth anything. I just didn’t want her to think I’m desperate. You know how, at a certain age, a single guy in church is the symbol of desperation.”

Oga Christian, na you know that one. So were you telling her all these grammar, or did you ask her the main thing?”

“Well, her brother and I were discussing Messi and his tax, and it took a while before he finally left the living room. Then she offered me semo and edikang ikong.”

Chai! See better wife material.”

“But she didn’t cook the soup o. I asked and she started laughing, and I thought I really blew it by asking a stupid question. Then she continued to laugh and I joined her. It was a little weird sha . . .”

“After that?”

“We talked about everything and then nothing. Again, I didn’t want to appear too desperate.”

Oga, after inviting her to, how many seminars now, six, seven? You’re saying you don’t want to be too desperate? Have you even asked her out properly?”

“It’s not like that? The question is not whether I’ve asked her out properly. It’s if I’m ready to ask her out.”

“Are you kidding me? At twenty-nine, you’re not sure if you want to ask her out? Do you think she’s ugly? Are you preserving yourself for Agbani Darego?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“So what are you waiting for?”

“Remember the last time I went out with that girl from the 45th floor and she suddenly started to talk about children and houses and family?”

“Hahahaha!”

“There must be something about candlelight and soft music and wine that makes people think it’s okay to share everything. She doesn’t even greet me at lunch anymore, so that means I must have said something stupid that night.”

“True. Your mouth can be a loose canon.”

“I’m trying to avoid that, so let’s hope I’ll be able to invite her for a date at the seminar.”

“Another seminar?”

“Yes na. That’s my excuse to see her again before the week runs out. I don’t even know if I’m doing this because my mother is always reminding me that she’s seventy-eight and life expectancy is fifty-three and I’m her only son . . . What do you think?”

“Me? What’s my own in this matter? I already have a pregnant wife, and I’m just three months older than you. What do you think I think?”

“You’re not being of help right now.”

“My friend, ask the lady out properly and go and marry.”

“You’re assuming she won’t say no.”

“If you can’t tell that a lady who has survived seven seminars and a silly visit already likes you, maybe your case is just hopeless. I’m going to my cubicle!”

 

©Ife Nihinlola 2016 @ IfeOluwa’s Rambles

 

©Timi Yeseibo 2016

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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59 thoughts on “Riposte: To Catch A Fly

  1. I like Ife’s “Junior” abeg. He’s a case. And his friend is funny as heck. Lol.

    This turned into a fun project to read, Timi. I think you can actually shape it into more but I won’t make any demands. An actual novel is a back breaker, abeg.

    Still wooping for this skinny though. It was fun to sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed reading this Ife 😊

    I’m a hopeless romantic and of course a sucker for fairy tale endings and so when the story began I was like…”Awww…how romantic”, I had this big smile on my face until he said he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to ask her out or if it’s because his mother is always reminding him of her age and all that… I was shocked!! 😳

    How could this shy knight in shining armour suddenly seem so unsure and almost callous…7 seminars is no walk in the park…to be unsure after 7 seminars is most definitely callous 😀

    I do love the twist you brought to it as we know fairy tales are not reality but please Timi we need a sequel to this. Would be great to know if she went for seminar number 8 and if Mr man laid his cards on the table 😊

    I’m watching this space 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Afi, nothing like a good romantic comedy … with a happy ending 🙂
      I liked the line about waiting for Agbani Darego, lol.

      Dealing with people like ‘Slow Coach’ here, who don’t know what they want is frustrating. He seems to like her enough to want to take things further… but will he follow through or get cold feet?

      I’m glad you enjoyed Ife’s take on the story. I can’t promise a sequel though.

      Thanks again!

      Like

  3. Sometimes, our fears and assumptions prevent us from enjoying the beauty of our reality. We all need a little bit of courage when dealing with matters of the heart. However, I feel the onus is on the gentleman to take the leap of faith and ask her out, ‘not to another seminar’.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hmm. But what happens if the lady chooses to ask him to clarify his intentions instead aka make the first move? Are there any implications to this with respect to any relationship they might have in the future?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t think so! However, I can attest to having overheard an argument between a couple once …and part way through the heated discussion, the guy said to the lady, “I never even asked you out in the first place, it was you who asked me and I didn’t feel I could say no”. The only break in the tirade of insults happened at that point… I don’t know what happened after that.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I enjoyed this!
    Its a bit difficult from a guys perspective. The expectation is that you ask and you always want to wait until you are absolutely certain that you will get a “yes”…unfortunately, in trying to obtain that certainty, you may come across as hesitant, lacking confidence etc etc. Truth is .. (I think) when guy is really really interested, it takes longer because he feels he may have only one chance and doesn’t want to blow it. If he asks casually after a few “seminars”, then it most likely means he isn’t really bothered if he gets a yes or a no…
    My take.
    interesting.. a sequel would be nice!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. This way of interpreting a man’s hesitance is new to me. While I can see cases where it will be valid, doesn’t it also depends the man’s temperament? I can imagine this guy being hesitant in everything else, not just his relationships.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. not necessarily, if in other areas he is assured of an end result because it is solely dependent on him for example, then he may / will probably go into it all guns blazing… when it is dependent on another person, whose feelings you may be unable to correctly interpret.. its a different ball game. I have friends who are great leaders in work and stuff who took ages to get “hooked” because of the uncertainty of the response to the “chat up” …but I can understand why you would feel that way!

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Me, I cannot understand it either. And in the past I’ve had to move on from some ‘unserious’ men who can’t define their intentions.
        Why will you even be hesitant about a woman you want to be with sef? Hian!!

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Seen on FB (below), maybe she needs to ask some leading questions in the sequel 😉

      When she asks you, “Where do we stand?” or “what are we?” or “where are we going?” she is not pushing you… there is a guy in her inbox, at work, at church, who has made his stand and direction
      very clear… but it’s you she wants and needs to know what you are up to…

      My brother, she is already waiting for the unknown day of the second coming of Christ, don’t make her wait for your unknown program too, you are not Jesus that she has to keep preparing not knowing when you will come and all you keep saying is soon. The only man who should make a sister be ready and wait for an unknown day is Jesus himself … – Mudson Ng’andu

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What is love? Let me know when you find out.
        How do we know when it is love or not? As complicated as finding out what love is.
        Can we…..after Just…..?
        Yes/No
        I wouldn’t want to probserve further but what kind of seminar? Business? Relationship?Church? Career related?
        How are we so sure after the next seminar he will man up?
        If he truly is interested in a relationship he should do more than just seminars. Or is he planing to write a Thesis on her first?
        The keyword is action. Hanging on for too long without showing intent and you run the risk of being ‘zoned’.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Nice Timi. Lets hope she attends and survive this Seminar. If at this seminar the guy still didn’t say anything, if i am the lady, I can assure you it would have been my last .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s interesting that you found it sweet. I guess this is one of those examples of a story saying more about the reader than the characters in the story themselves. You’re probably more forgiving of ‘slow’ people than many of us.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ife, true that we read through filters. In my view, you turned the ‘slow coach’ into a sensitive, shy, nerdy, klutzy, hard-not-to-love, want-to-give-him-a-second-chance, kind of guy. How? By giving us insight into his mind.

        He isn’t a serial seminar(y) dude looking for free dinners. Aargh … but he’s still a slow coach! Lol. Thanks again.

        Liked by 3 people

  6. Not the perspective from the guy I was expecting. I guess different strokes for different folks.

    If a guy invites me for 6 – 7 seminars without asking me out on a proper date i’ll surely assume he wasn’t interested or maybe this guy has self confidence issues I mean if a lady goes with you for 7 seminars and you still haven’t seen the green light to proceed to the next level then……………. maybe you need a sign from MARS!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Well for one after reading the lady’s perspective I felt the guy was just using her to add to the number of those attending the seminars. Maybe he was attracted to her initially but somehow found out they didn’t have much in common . My take is if a guy is interested in a lady and doesn’t have the nerve to say it there are other subtle ways to show it not inviting her to 7 seminars!!!!

        But then again you showed me another perspective to the whole situation thanks for that! I guess he was hoping to have the nerve after the 7 seminars! Unfortunately sometimes by the time the guy gets the nerve the girl might have moved on, on the assumption that he’s not interested.

        Nice write up by the way I enjoyed reading it.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I love the part of the lady moving on based on the assumption that the guy is not interested…

          But then, some ladies can persevere in case of emotional attachment vis-a-vis love…

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Inviting her to 7 seminars just to work up the nerve for one date is indeed seems too much. There’s a tragedy in how they’ll both miss out on one another due to an inability to communicate what they feel. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you.

          Liked by 1 person

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