To Catch A Fly . . . Again

To catch a fly again

 

Part 1: boy meets girl; two girlfriends dissect the relationship – To Catch A Fly
Part 2: the male perspective; boy and his mate dissect the meeting – Riposte: To Catch A Fly

 

To Catch A Fly . . . Again

“I—”

“Can—”

“Sorry, please, you were saying?”

“I interrupted you, please go ahead.”

“Ladies first—”

“I insist. I know you’re trying to be a gentleman, but I insist . . . please go ahead.”

“Ahem! Excuse me.”

“Bless you dear. Oh sorry, that’s not the right thing to say, is it?”

“Than— ahem!”

“Are you okay?”

“Ahem! Yes, yes. Er, I wanted to ask you if—”

“Sorry. I have to take this call . . . it’s important . . . Hello? Hello?”

“No worries.”

****

“Hi, I’m back. Really sorry—”

“That’s okay . . .”

“You wanted to ask . . .”

“Oh, yes, that . . .  what did you think of the seminar?”

“Well, this is the best one so far. I thoroughly subscribe to the professor’s argument about the lack of succession planning. How many Nigerian businesses have outlived their founders abi owners?”

“True, true. And the proliferation of techpreneurs . . . that one caught my attention. Guys just learn how to code and next thing want to launch out  . . . no experience—”

“Yes o. Don’t you just hate it when people use Mark Zuckerberg as an example? I mean since when does an outlier experience become mainstream?”

“Yeah yeah, if the model cannot be replicated, it isn’t applicable. But the problem with Nigeria, no feasibility studies, no business plan . . . one person starts Pure Water business, next thing all the neighbours are digging their own boreholes! Copy, copy!”

Ha ha ha! I had a good time tonight. Thanks for inviting me.”

“My pleasure. Me too!”

“I’ve been meaning to ask—”

“Ahem . . . Ahem! Ahem! I—”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I—”

“Hold that thought, I have to take this please. It’s an important call. Hello? Hello? You can’t see my date of birth? What—”

***

“So sorry, I needed to sort that out—”

“That’s okay . . . but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation—”

“No biggie, my medical forms should have been submitted yesterday—”

“D . . . di . . . did you say you were born in 1981?”

Ah ah, a lady doesn’t reveal her age, but since the cat is out of the bag—”

“Yo . . . you’re thirty-five?”

“Technically, thirty-four years and seven months. My birthday is in a few—”

“Thirty-five?”

“Well, I guess you’re one of those people who always round up num—”

“Thirty-five? How?”

“Ha ha, my mum and dad did it in ’80. I don’t look it right? People always think I’m like twenty-five, twenty-six-ish.”

“You certainly had me fooled . . . with that face and body!”

“I hope that’s a good thing . . . you look sick . . . is everything—”

“I . . . I’m . . . I’m fine. Do you mind if we go sit in the car?”

“No not at all. Lead the way . . . so how old are you?”

“Er . . . old. I mean old enough.”

“Let me guess . . . come to think of it, you went to school with Lola’s brother right?

“Yes . . .”

“Andy is three years older than us. Mehn, you wear thirty-eight well! I’ve always thought we were age mates—”

“I . . . I—”

Ah ah you’re so sweet and thoughtful . . . you don’t have to open the car door for me all the time jare.”

“I aim to please.”

“Is that Sade? Do you mind increasing the volume? I looove Sade! Hmm . . . this is no ordinary love, no ordinary love, baby . . .”

“I . . . I . . . I was saying I went to school with Bobby.”

“Bobby? Which Bobby? How can? Bobby! Wait . . . wait . . .”

“Yes—”

“Bobby? Lola their last born?”

“Yeah, that Bobby—”

“Please lower the music. Lower the music!

“Is this okay?”

Haba! Just turn it off abeg!”

“Sorry. Okay.”

“I can’t breathe! Wind down—”

“But the AC is on—”

“I said, ‘Wind down!’ Wind down now!”

“Okay, okay . . . cooli temper!”

“Hisssss!”

“Is this better? Please say something . . .”

“Hmmmm!”

“Look, this is awkward for me too . . .”

“Hmmmm!”

“Okay, em . . . em . . . the next track is . . . drum roll . . . Age ain’t nothing but a number—”

“Hisssss! Ye ye boy! And my name is R. Kelly! Ha ha ha!”

“Ha ha ha! At least I made you laugh abi?”

“Juvenile delinquent! Please take me home before it’s time for your curfew!”

 

©Timi Yeseibo 2016


For Afi, Ayo, Busola, and everyone who wanted a sequel to To Catch A Fly & Riposte: To Catch A Fly. Thank you for helping me improve my dialogue writing skills.

 

 

 

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Timi Yeseibo and livelytwist.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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46 thoughts on “To Catch A Fly . . . Again

  1. I had a good laugh reading this. See how age just want to pour garrison into their blossoming yoriyori.
    The truth is women love men to be older than for different reasons, one of which is that they want a man to look up to. Others I would like to mention but time wouldn’t permit me to elaborate as I am in a hurry typing this. It only work fine if the lady in question is able to look past the age difference especially the man family

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved this one. Lmao. I was just laughing like a crazy person!!! I’m not kidding o! I like your couple, Timi. Scratch that, I LOVE your couple, Timi. They’re real and responsible.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaha! You had me laughing all the way through…I was thinking age is just a number then there it was in black and white….great use of dialogue btw. I thought this line was funny: “Guys just learn how to code and next thing want to launch out.” If I knew the code I would definitely be ready to launch!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Timi!!!!!!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

    Only you can do this…lol

    I had a really good laugh. Thank you 😊

    I must say though that I love this new chemistry between them.

    Age is just a number right? Besides its only 6 years 😊

    Wondering if these two that we’ve grown fond of will make another appearance?

    Surely you can’t leave us in limbo 😉

    P.s I absolutely love the way you write.
    You know I’m your number 1 fan 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Afi. I sensed the chemistry too. It seemed everything was sort of going well, then bam! …

      I hope Ife will give us the guy’s perspective ….

      Thank you so much. You give me reason to keep writing 😊

      Like

  5. Oh dear! The age thing… I have always assumed the same, why is it so acceptable for the guy to be older, but not the other way around. I was starting to think this it is.. it will happen… then that comes in. Personally, it should be just a number… I hope so. Its like height… I know a couple ..the wife is much much taller than the guy… I thought it was brave of him to marry her… fast forward 20 odd years later, they are still married… I wonder what would have happened if he stuck to the “norm” or if she rejected him because of “that” number. It really shouldn’t matter.. but different strokes… etc etc.
    Loving this…hope this is not the end….

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Ayo,

      I enjoyed reaading your comment.

      Height, Age, Finances, Weight (?) …

      A long list of areas that society expects the man to be more, as though the earth might start to break-dance vigorously instead of gently rotating, otherwise. 😀

      Indeed, those who break free from the norm create their own path to happiness.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Yes age has become another spanner in the works! I think that sometimes we already have a picture about what love should look like- an older man for a woman and a younger woman for a man.

      Will they be able to navigate this challenge that’s bothering them both? I don’t know o!

      Thanks so much for your interest and encouragement.

      Like

  6. Hi Timi,

    Lol @ “my mum and dad did it in ’80”

    Ah, the age factor, pouring sand in people’s garri since 1900 AD…

    I must have laughed like a hyena while reading this. I reallly enjoyed the easy flow of their conversation, felt very natural.

    PS: *whispering* Ife, I do hope you’ve finished penning the riposte to this o? 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nedu, I must have had this age conversation several times this week, which inspired the twist in this saga.

      It’s looking as though her attending the 8th seminar wasn’t such a bad idea after all, although he was coughing too much to say what I suppose she or we really wanted to hear, lol. I’m glad you enjoyed their banter and describe it as easy flowing. I wanted them to mostly get along; maybe a hint of a spark…

      Ife, are you listening?

      Lol, thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ansa, yes the difference in their ages is six years. Although this story can stand alone, it’s part 3 of a mini-series, if you will. Last week, Ife wrote part 2. There we discover that the man in question is 29.

      You can read it here: https://livelytwist.com/2016/07/31/riposte-to-catch-a-fly/

      In a way, they sound as though they might get along. But that’s based on the strength of this part 3. But then again, who knows?

      Thanks for reading.

      Like

        1. Yeah makes sense in theory. But I personally think I’d have a hard time with it in practice…. My thinking may be stuck in another century, but women tend to mature faster & a ‘much’ younger man may feel like a ‘boy’. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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